6 Hands are Better than 4

Well, we were greeted this morning by the arrival of a gift from God....in the form of a temporary nanny, Tam.  Tam is the god daughter of Loan, our TDH representative here in Ho Chi Minh. I believe that at one point she had been placed in the same orphanage as Tri and Cai, because her parents couldn't afford to look after her. I get the sense that this happened when she was an older child....perhaps about 14.  Loan therefore took her under her wing and has been helping her out ever since.  She is now 21 or 23 and now lives with her grandmother in Vung Tau.

It is amazing how much easier things have become with this extra set of hands.  From feeding to dishes, to sterlizing bottles.  It's not that we couldn't do everything before, but now we are enjoying it more because we can forget about the chores, and now we can concentrate on enjoying our kids.

Well I suppose it also opens up some more time for WORK!!!! Here you see Virginia on Skype to school.  She had a conference call with 3 new teachers that will be working in the new Learning Resource center.  It's brand new, and Virginia was one of the main people behind the proposal.  So the timing of maternity may not be ideal (though when is it ever) from the schools perspective.  So she spent an hour on video conference discussing her ideas for the opening of the center.

Scabies Part 3

Just like the Sharon Lois and Bram song, "The cat came back" only it's not a cat, it's scabies.  Without a doubt there were new blisters on both our kids.  On Monday Virginia had to see a doctor and we were able to get some more medication to treat them.  Only this time, we decided we'd better treat ourselves just in case.  We absolutely did not want to have to go through this process a fourth time.

We tore all the sheets off the beds to wash along with all of the kids clothes and ours as well.  We setup the 3rd swinging crib for one of the kids to use, and we used a small foam pad that I had brought from Jakarta for Tri.  We slept on the couches for two nights to give our mattress a rest just in case.  It was a lot of washing and a lot of hassle.  We didn't use either stroller for two days, but we were able to wash the snuggly carriers (I don't know what you call them) and it was probably about time we'd done that anyway.

The photo above is a shot of the four of us after all the washing was done (and the carriers are still a little moist - but we needed to get out of the apartment).  Tomorrow another set of hands in the form of our new temporary nanny will arrive.  We're curious to see how that will work out.  We're hoping that it is going to be a big help.

The photo at left of Cai shows her putting her fist to her mouth.  She loves to form fists with both hands and she seems to try to place them in her mouth.  Unfortunately she still does not seem interested in grasping things.  I'm wondering if it's because in the hospital her hands were always covered in mittens.  I can get her to hold small rings, but she doesn't seem to be aware that she is holding them.  The two kids seem quite different in that way.  Cai seems to make more efforts with her mouth (seems like she's more intellectual), and Tri is very exploratory.  He can't explore his surroundings enough - the last two days, while having baths in the kitchen sink, he has tried to grasp the water coming out of the faucet.  I don't think he understands why he can't grab the stream of water :)

Of course, I always need to remember that Cai is almost 2 months younger, and those two months at this stage are extremely significant.

Meeting with TDH

Well we are now setup in our new apartment. The move went smoothly, and we were in fact online within an hour of arriving to our apartment, but we've been busy getting setup, and the kids routine was a little out of whack causing less sleep for everyone.

Yesterday we met with the entire TDH crew. TDH (Terre Des Hommes) is our adoption agency in Canada. They have been here in Vietnam for a week, meeting with the ministry responsible for adoptions and the various orphanages. They need to renew the agreements each year with each orphanage and arrange for the charitable projects that they will work on each year.

We went to their hotel to have lunch and to let them meet Tri and Cai. The first photo is of Tri and me sitting at the table waiting for them to arrive.

The second photo is of Tri with Dorinda (the woman that runs TDH in Ontario/Quebec). He is about to cool down in the pool.

The plan was just to spend an hour to an hour and a half and have lunch. However, it turned into 3 or 4 hours. I ended up showing her how to edit video as she just bought a video camera to be able to film orphans to then show to prospective adoptive parents. We also got a glimpse into the burreacracy of adoption and some of the charity projects they are involved in. We are hoping that we might be able to follow up on this and perhaps bring a group of students from our school in Jakarta for a week to help out with this. It was also so nice to have a group of people so interested in helping with the kids. As Virginia said it was a glimpse of what it would be like to have family and friends around. The contingent from Ontario was Dorinda, her husband, Brandon, their 13 year old daughter, Rosie (also adopted from Vietnam) and Thuy and Loan from here in Vietnam. Here Rosie is holding Cai in the restaurant.

 

When we finished up at the hotel we had to rush back to our apartment to meet with our landlord. We needed to actually sign our lease, and she wanted to check to see if there was anything else we needed. She and her family are really great people. They are very accommodating and really want to help us out. She arrived with her sister, niece and mother, as she wanted them to meet our kids. The last photo is of Tri with the mother (he was getting tired and hungry and was a little fussy).

She offered to send over one of her maids or a cook to help us out. I don't know what Virginia was thinking but she declined!!

Anyway, they really are nice people.

I've got some video footage of Cai and Tri that I need to download. You'll see that Cai is becoming much more animated. Though she still will not grasp things in her hands. Tri is taking off and has started back on pablum and today for the first time, a jar of baby food (which he loved).

The kids are unfortunately still not really on the same schedule and as a result there is not much down time for us. Though what a treat, yesterday we went to bed at 8:30 and today we even took a short nap!

Moving Day!

Well who knew that we could accumulate so much junk in such a short time span. I guess those daily trips to the store to purchase a few food items and invariably something small and cute for one or both of our children, piled up!

We've packed two bags with things that we've decided we can do without for me to bring back to Jakarta next week. My ticket is a business class ticket using points, so I get extra baggage allowance but I'm already 10 pounds over.

I don't know how we're going to get the rest of the stuff back when Virginia and I make the final trip back to Jakarta. Pictured are most of our things, but it doesn't show the two swinging baby cribs or a few other odds and ends.

I'm hoping this will put an end to the "but it's so cute and it's only xxx dollars" when we go to the store. I honestly don't think we're capable of entering a store without picking up something new.

I think our pocket book will be much healthier once we both get back to work and don't have the time to go shopping.

We're moving today, and theoretically we'll have high speed internet at our new apartment, but we don't know, so this may be the last blog post for a while.....that may be a good thing, as it may mean less time on the computer and more time sleeping.

Staying Longer in Vietnam

I think John John has already mentioned this before, but it looks like we will be staying in Vietnam for another month. This is no one's fault and it is necessary, but boy, do I wish it wasn't true. Sadly, John will be leaving me to go back to school for a while; I am not so excited about this, as you can imagine. Two infants are a HANDFUL (cute, lovely, but a handful) and being in a strange country with no friends and no possibility of ever understanding the language can be draining.



Tonight emphasized this point and I had to laugh - one by one, our children threw up on us and EVERYTHING ELSE. It was almost as if they planned it, the little monkeys. So, while we are still deleriously happy to have our little angels, we are getting pretty tired and feeling a little drained. It will be so nice to go home, to our stuff, get into our routine and surround ourselves with friends.

We do, however, now have a new apartment to stay in: that is a load off. It is a new place, near the apartment we are in. We like this because we know the area and there are nice streets to walk on. The landlords are wonderful!! They are letting us stay (without a lease) for as long as we need to. They are so sympathetic to our situation that they are supplying the sheets, pots and pans, plates, etc. This will make it easier.

And so, John leaves on August 1st.

Send your good vibes this way: I am going to need them.

When it gets tough, I will try to remember to laugh!!

Virginia

Happy Belated Birthday, Mommy

Mommy,
I love you so much.
Thank-you for taking me out of the hospital.
I was really scared in there.
I love it when you feed me.
Will you teach me to sing? I'd really like that.
I'm sorry that I wasn't the first to wish you happy birthday. I didn't even know it was your birthday till I saw Tri on the computer.
Then I had to learn how to type (I didn't want messy hand writing like Tri's).


I'm sorry that Tri didn't stay quiet on your birthday. Sometimes he can be a real cry baby!
But what do you expect, he's a boy!
I love you, and sorry that you have to stay here all summer for me. But I'm really glad that you are, because I'm really having a fun time with you.

Love, Cai Marie Holmes

Happy Birthday, Mommy!

Holmes' Homeless in Ho Chi Minh!!!

Well, it's less than a week away, and Wendy and Jim, who so graciously lent us their apartment will be returning.  Although they offered to let us stay before they left, we wouldn't wish our family presence of four on anyone.  So we've been desperately searching for a new place to call home.

We got word from our agency that the giving and receiving ceremony probably won' take place till Aug 14 or thereabouts.  Then we still need to arrange for the kids passports (and possibly Canadian citizenship) before leaving the country.

We've considered the possibility of a hotel, but we really think we need more space, a washing machine, and some self catering facilities would be pretty nice as well.  The residence that Virginia stayed in before I arrived, The Summerset Serviced Apartements are great, however, the price tag of $170 /night plus tax is a little unweildy.

Other serviced apartments seem to be commanding a similar price tag.

Vung Tau is an option as the serviced apartments there are only $75 /night + tax and they will give us a monthly rate of $1500 /month.  However, it is in Vung Tau, and we think that we'd prefer to stay here in Ho Chi Minh.

This park in the middle of Ho Chi Minh has it's appeals.



Here, Virginia is scouting a street corner with Tri.  He thought it was a good option, but Cai would here nothing of it and even refused to pose for the photo.

Finding a regular apartment is challenging.  Most want a minimum of 6 month rental.  We found one place (a sublet for two months) that we thought would be ideal.  But then the landlord wasn't too keen on having two children in the place. 

The good news is we have a lead on an apartment that is close to where we are now.  I suggested to Virginia that perhaps if I could close it tomorrow, that would be an ideal 40th birthday present.  She however, seems to think that we're getting a place to live no matter what, so it's not really birthday material......

I'm off to bed!

Freaky Friday

Just like in the movie, "Freaky Friday", we think that somehow Cai's and Tri's personalities were switched today! Cai has turned into a charming little girl with smiles and giggles, and Tri has become very unpleasant. It was remarkable to see Cai so pleasant, and we think it is because of a number of reasons. First I think her health is getting better, but I think more importantly, she is becoming used to us as her primary caregivers.
Cai was left at the orphanage at about one month of age (first caregiver), then she was in the orphanage for a month and a half (2nd caregiver), and then she was in the hospital for over a month (third caregiver), and now she is home with us. I think she's had a more traumatic start to life than Tri, so it is very nice to see her beginning to settle down.
We think we know why Tri has been so fussy today....his inoculations. While at the paediatrician, not only did they take blood from both Cai and Tri to check their zinc levels, they also gave Tri his 2nd inoculation (for Hep B I think). I took video footage as they took blood from Tri anticipating some very large yells (Virginia told me screamed like the dickens last time), but as you can see in the video he was a real trooper. A little whimper and then he's fine. In fact, you can hear Cai crying in my arms louder than Tri (though this may have been in anticipation of what was to come for her).

This next clip shows a little of what Cai went through. The nurses didn't know where to find a vein. She was still bruised up in all locations from the hospital. They popped a needle into her left hand, and left it in for a while, moving it around, but no blood was coming out (you can see the blue band aid on her left hand). So in this video clip, although there is no longer a needle in her hand, she is still screaming from the pain, as they search for another vein. I asked about putting a needle in her head as they had done in the hospital (and the reason for her previous mohawk), and they explained that here in Vietnam they find it easier to put it in the head, but that at this clinic the doctors didn't like it. They said that it was more likely to result in infection and that the veins stuck out more from the head, and were also more likely to bleed after the needle was done. This may be true, but given the number of missed needles into Cai's arm (it took them three tries), I have to wonder if it wouldn't have been better to go for the head again.



P.S. I forgot to add that the Dr remarked how Virginia looked pretty good for having a little baby, but that she looked GREAT for having two babies!

What are they thinking?

Some of you will know that in Jakarta we can purchase DVDs at a "discounted" rate. This is because they are pirated. The same is true here in Vietnam. We have recently purchased the complete box set (seasons 1-7) of The Gilmore Girls. We enjoy watching an episode of this whenever we can. Today, we put Cai and Tri down on the mat to play with each other as we popped in the season 1 disc. I kept looking down and was amazed at how the two of them were just staring at each other. This went on for over 10 minutes. I remarked to Virginia how amazing it was to watch the two stare each other down and I asked her what she thought was going through their heads. I decided to grab the camera to quickly get a shot of them staring each other down. Of course about 15 seconds after filming them, they suddenly became interested in me, so this is only a short clip. However what is pretty funny is the soundtrack from the Gilmore Girls which was playing on the television at the time. You can hear it if you turn up the volume.

Cai Wins the Battle!

Well when we brought Cai home from the hospital, she was being fed every 2 hours. When we read the instructions on the can of formula, it was suggesting every 4 hours. So we decided to switch her feedings to every 3 hours and slowly work our way up to 4 hours. Her screams of hunger were difficult to deal with, but we were certain that this would be best for her....until today.

We had an appointment with a paediatrician and learned that because of the month in hospital, her stomach was probably simply not large enough to sustain feedings every 4 hours, and that we should stick with the 2 hour feedings and slowly lengthen it to 3 hours.

So now Cai's screams of hunger will be answered with a bottle!

As a result, from time to time, multi-tasking is required. Here you can see Virginia as she feeds Cai while reading a story to Tri. Thankfully with two of us here all the time, this sort of multi-tasking is not a necessity, though it does occaisionally make for nice photo ops!

Which Crib to Choose?

Well the Ma&Be store (Mother and Baby) had quite a selection of these swinging cribs. How should one choose which one? Price, colour, size, safety, sturdiness, weight? Well, when Tri spotted the name of this one (in red in the photo at right), he decided that this was the one we should buy, and so we did! It's actually the same brand as the one that we currently have. In making the purchase, the enclosed instructions list their website (www.longhung.com) and it turns out the main office is right here in the same suburb of Saigon that we are living. So we may well be able to go purchase the spare part required to fix the first one that is broken.Our friend, Nat, suggested we just keep using the broken crib and swing it by hand.......ha ha ha ha!!!! No, we treasure our sleep. Cai has been asleep now for over four hours! A RECORD! So we're pretty happy with the purchase. When she gets old enough to roll over, then we'll look at unplugging the electric motor, but till then, swing on!

Our two kids are enjoying interacting with each other. I suspect that this blog will end up having several photos of the two of them together. Here is a shot just before we took them down to the pool to play and tire them out before their afternoon nap. It looks like Tri is holding on to his sister and giving her the lay of the land!

To Swing or Not to Swing - There is NO QUESTION!

Last month we wrote about the swinging crib that Tri loved.  We were debating whether we should get a 2nd one or not.  Natalie and Francois mentioned that with the design as is, that Tri might have some difficulty rolling back on his back if he rolled onto his stomach.  Sure enough about 2 days after they wrote this, this is exactly what happened....and the electric motor subsequently broke!!!

So we stopped using the crib, and have had Tri in a little foam bed that is made for babies.  He seems happy enough, and still sleeps soundly through the night, only getting up once in the night for a night feed.

Well now that we've got Cai, and she's been very fussy, we decided the rocking crib was a must.  So I took apart the motor today and discovered that the belt is broken.  This is much like the fan belt in a car.  It's probably a 25 cent part but where we'd be able to buy one, I've no idea.  We could try to just use a rubber band but we probably need something a little larger.  At any rate, we've decided that $70 for a new rocking crib will be well worth it, especially if it helps us get more sleep.......I mean let's Cai sleep better! :)

The first day that we had Cai, we couldn't let her interact with Tri till we had treated her for scabies.  The next day, we had them playing together on the couch, and here is a photo of that interaction.

TWO CHILDREN - A HAIR RAISING EXPERIENCE!

Okay, okay....Virginia here.....no, I did not shave my head! Having a computer guru for husband really comes in handy! A little photoshop and presto - I am bald! Sorry, Cai...mommy loves you...but she just couldn't do it!

Things are going well, here. We are finding our way and learning how to now be a family of four. The differences between Tri and Cai are amazing; they are such different children. It is still very early days with Cai and she is beginning to be a little more animated, but she is much quieter and docile than her ham-bone brother. She is starting to smile though and I am sure that, as she relaxes and feels safe and secure, this will continue. Right now she sleeps, eats and cries. She loves to be held, however, and we pick her up, she stops. That is a good sign. She just needs a lot of love! And she came to the right place!



My mom says it used to take me an hour to drink one ounce; I think Cai is my pay-back. She is a SLOW eater! This can be really nice during the day as you can sit and sing and chat with her and get some really nice bonding time. The hour-plus-per-bottle isn't so nice at night. She eats every 2 hours and it takes an hour to drink! Thank God there are two of us; we are a great team though and I am so grateful for John.

Having said all that, Cai is an angel. She is such a blessing and, when she smiles, she melts your heart. I held the two of them at once today (see picture). It was amazing: two incredibly special and wonderful children at once. And they are ours. I was a little overwhelmed and I got choked up; it was a beautiful moment.

We were talking to friends today and they asked what we do every day.

I just laughed.

DO? We had visions of traveling Vietnam, getting to know our children and their country.  Boy were we wrong! We spend our days at home. We sing a lot, dance with the kids, play on the floor, read books, change diapers, clean bottles and do laundry. And that is it! We go out for a walk at dusk; it is cooler then and very pleasant. It has become my favourite time of the day. Other then that, we can manage one adventure per day. Sadly, that often means a trek to the grocery store - how exotic - and travel seems a distant idea thought up by someone else. I have to say, we really don't mind. The best adventure is just staying home with our kids! I am sure that as Cai finds her rhythm, this will change. Right now, as she continues to heal, she needs to sleep a lot. And so we are lying low.



We are really looking forward to getting home to Jakarta. I really hope this happens soon; I have been away for a long time now and I miss our beach house, our friends and familiar territory. This has been wonderful, but it just isn't home. We hope to find out this week when our signing and receiving ceremony will be; keep your fingers crossed that we will be going home soon!

A BALD family is a HAPPY family

Well, our little girl is home and happy. And so are we! We are settling into life as a busy family of four - twice the bottles and twice the diapers! Yikes! To celebrate, we gave Cai a haircut. No more silly mohawk! She agrees; it is better to start over and let her, eventually, have a beautiful head of hair. But now she is bald! To help her feel less self-conscious, the WHOLE FAMILY decided to shave! A family that is bald together, stays together....or something like that.

We will write more later, but boy are we tired!

Suffice it to say, life is doubly blessed!

Virginia, John, Tri and Cai xo

Cai's New Room

There is a world of difference between Cai's new room and the two rooms she has been in the past.  What a difference 26 fewer roommates make!  The room itself has only two large beds for the babies. Then there are two reclining deck chairs that you might have around a pool.  Perhaps these are meant for the nanny to sleep, though I can tell you if I were the one in there, I'd be joining Cai on the nice comfy bed!  The first thing I noticed upon walking into the room was the blast of AC!  Oh yes, this is 5 star comfort!  There is also a 3/4 size fridge and television in the room.  The great news is that she gets stronger and stronger each day.  If the nanny is right about her schedule, that will put her in our permanent custody on Friday!

I will post a separate post about our visit to Vung Tau and the orphanage.  Suffice it to say, there are a lot of damn cute babies and kids that are looking for parents.  I had to pry one newborn away from Virginia's arms, explaining that we already had two and that, at least for now, that was enough.  Before heading to the orphanage, we stopped into a restaurant for lunch.  It was quite a hot day, and we were greatful for the cold wash clothes they gave us upon our arrival.  So was Tri as we placed them on his head to cool him down!  Below is the photo.

Shopping for ........ the orphanage?

Today we hatched a plan to go visit the orphanage in Vung Tau to see where our kids spent the first few months of their lives. We thought that since, hopefully, Cai will be getting out of the hospital shortly, that making a trip to Vung Tau with only one child would be a good introduction to traveling with kids. So today, the plan was to do some shopping for items that we could donate to the orphanage....clothers, diapers, formula, toys. I thought that we should just head to the "Walmart" beside the hospital, but Virginia was convinced that Binh Tanh market would be a better option. Somehow, that shopping trip for the orphanage left us with 2 new North Face Backpacks, a blouse for Virginia, a dress for Virginia and a wall hanging on hold for us.......what happened to the orphanage? So on the way home, we dropped Virginia off at our local store and I took Tri home for his bath and bedtime. So yes, we did get some great things for the orphanage, but not at Binh Tanh market! Pictured below is Tri. He's enjoying his milk while Virginia is scoping out some food at the stall. We went with the fresh spring rolls (my favourite food thus far in Vietnam).

The great news for Cai is that she is now in a semi private room with only one other baby. Hopefully this will reduce the risk of secondary (or tertiary?) infection. We'll stop in quickly tomorrow before heading down to Vung Tau. We've hired a car to drive us there (about 2 hours south). It willl drop us off, and then we'll take a ferry/hydro foil back the next day.

Excuse me, is this bed taken?

A few days back, Cai's nanny tried to communicate to me about a room change. As I said before she said she would be moved yesterday. At the time, she motioned to the bed and held up three fingers. I thought that this meant that she would be moved to a room with three beds, though I said to Virginia that maybe she meant three kids to a bed. Well, it turns out that little voice in my head was indeed correct. When I arrived today, she was indeed in a new room with about 6 or 7 beds in the room. Each bed was occupied by two babies. The photo below is what greeted me....Cai asleep beside another little baby in the arms of her mother or nanny.
The great news is that she really is getting stronger each day. I had thought they had removed her pick line, but I was mistaken. It is still in her foot, but I didn't notice it yesterday as it was hidden by her sock.
I had requested to the doctor on Saturday that when she was able to be moved to another room, that she be moved to a private room and that we would cover the cost. But the nanny didn't know this and so it didn't end up happening today. Loan, our representative here in Saigon spoke with her on the phone so she is arranging for her to be moved tomorrow. I should say one of the reasons I am impressed with the care at the hospital is because health care is free for all of these children. It is as a result of this that the crowded conditions prevail. Our concern at the moment is that she may catch another bug from one of the many babies/adults in the room, and thus our strong desire to get her into a private room as quickly as possible.
Last Saturday, we went in to see a pediatrician for Tri's rash. It turns out he still had scabies. So last night, we treated him again and spent the last 24 hours boiling clothes and bedsheets. We hope that will spell the end of the scabies for Tri, so that we can begin anew with Cai as soon as she gets home.

6 More Days Turns to 5

Yesterday, while visiting Cai, we were told by the nanny that it would be only 6 more days, which would put us at 5 more today. Of course we were also told that she would be moved to a different room today, so when I arrived today, I was fully expecting an adventure as I would have to somehow find this new room.Unfortunately, I had no such adventure as she was still in the same room. I looked for doctors but unfortunately I could not find any, so I was unable to ask why or get any further updates.One thing I want to clarify, it may from time to time seem as though I'm not happy with the care that Cai is receiving. This is not the case. I would be quite happy if we could get the same care but in a different location. Today I could not find a doctor, however, in the past I have seen some babies in great distress, and out of nowhere, about 6 doctors were surrounding the baby. The mother was forced to leave the room as she bawled outside. But the baby survived. I've seen several hour old babies brought in to Cai's room, and they've all gotten better.Last post I mentioned the two rats that ran by as I was on the phone. Perhaps the reason it was only 2 rats is because of the cats which are also present in the hallways. The one pictured was up on the 2nd floor.Today Cai slept in my arms for about two hours, so I had plenty of time to think. It occurred to me that although she has been very sick, and we're not the ones in control, we're actually very lucky. It is rare that it is possible to adopt two children at once. If we were residents of Canada, it would not have been possible at all. Since we are resident in Indonesia, Vietnam was able to consider the request for two children simultaneously. I think the fact that we live in Asia may well have helped. But also, the fact that Cai has been so sick, means that they recognized that she needed personal care immediately. Many studies have shown that love and attention are just as important as drugs in a young babies health. Since we were already in Vietnam, and we had been pre-approved for adopting two children I think that tipped the scale in our favour.Interestingly enough, Canada has been getting a bit of a bad rap here in Vietnam for not accepting some children that are less than perfectly healthy. Some parents are requesting 2nd physicals or 2nd opinions be offered. This creates extra work for the orphanage and may be having a negative effect for Canadian couples. Given that we had already excepted Tri (who had previously been rejected by 4 other couples for medical reasons), this also may have contributed to our being offered Cai to adopt.

Whatever the reasons, we certainly feel very blessed. It has also been amazing to see the change in our children's health since we've come in contact with them. It is not uncommon for children to die because of pneumonia while in the adoption process. We are eternally greatfull for the decision to give Cai to us. It may well have saved her life.The great thing about the fact that Cai is off oxygen, means that we can get her out of her room. I prefer to go out to the balcony. It has a nice cool breeze which I think is refreshing for her, and most certainly for me. It also gives her something new to look at, and oddly enough it is much quieter out there, as most people stay inside the hospital rooms. I figure it is also healthier out there, with less possibility of other children's germs getting her sick again. In this photo you can see the courtyard 3 floors below. The circle in the center is a fountain. As I said I had two hours with her in my arms, so not only did I have lots of time to think, I had plenty of time to take self portraits :)

Who Knew a 3 Month Old Girl Could Make a Grown Man Cry?

This morning I went down to the hospital in the morning before visiting hours so that I would have a chance to speak with the chief doctor. When I arrived he was not around, but the nanny motioned to her watch to the number 2 or 3. So I called Virginia to let her know that I would have to wait till ten after or quarter after to get the chance to speak with him.



Before I had left home, I called FV hospital to confirm that we could admit her. The nurse took down the details and said that a doctor would call me back.



While waiting for the doctor, on the advice of my sister Anne, I had brought a bottle nipple to tap on Cai's back. This was meant to help tap the phlegm free and hopefully allow Cai to cough it up out of her lungs. The theory being that the reason she needs to be on oxygen is because there is too much liquid/phlegm in the lungs to allow the oxygen to enter into her blood.

So I had Cai on her side with her head slightly lowered to allow gravity to help pull out anything that became dislodged. Well this was quite a spectacle. In hindsight I should have charged admission to all of the onlookers. They thought I was some crazy person! The good news is that almost immediately there was some phlegm that she spit out. I continued this for about 10 minutes, and then held her in my arms.



Anne also told me that the way they teach babies to swim is to blow in their face before dunking them. This causes the baby to take a deep breath. So after I had been pounding the back of her chest, I started to blow in her face, causing her to take deep breaths, and then subsequently cough up the phlegm. The coughing was making her cry! So I felt like the world's worst Dad, and the strange looks from the crowd that was spectating didn't help at all either. However, I had to keep doing it, because she needed to clear her lungs. It was very difficult to do!



Forty five minutes after when the nanny had told me the doctor would be around, I went looking for him. I was told that he was not available but that if I came back in the afternoon, I could speak with him then. Clearly when the nanny pointed to the 2 or 3, she meant 2 or 3 O'clock, not 10 after the hour!



So I went back home to pick up Virginia. In the taxi on the way home, I got a call from FV Hospital. When the doctor listened to Cai's case history and the fact that she was still on oxygen, he said that she should be put in the ICU but that there was no space for her. He told me he would call me in a few days, when a space might be opened up.

So this left us without any options that we knew off for Cai's treatment. This was a real disappointing blow. However, Virginia and I still went back into town in the afternoon. Yesterday I discovered a fantastic little store just around the corner from the hospital. I call it the Vietnamese Walmart, though in reality it's nothing like it. However it does have everything under one roof and so when I described it to Virginia, she was pretty excited to go visit.

I dropped Virginia off and helped her get Tri up to the 2nd floor where all the clothing was located, and then ran off to the hospital to make sure I got a chance to speak to the doctor. While there didn't seem much hope, I did want to ask about the change in her medication. Yesterday she was on an oral anti biotic, but today, she was back on an IV.

As I proceeded to the third floor, at the top of the stairs, this is what I saw:



I couldn't believe my eyes. Cai was out of the room, and no longer hooked up to oxygen!!!! I quickly grabbed my camera, and took a photo and asked the nanny to grab a photo of me as well.

At this point, I thought it best to call Loan to let her know as I wasn't sure how the transfer would take place. So I called her to let her know the exciting news, and then I gave the phone to the nanny so that she could tell Loan all that she knew. As I held Cai in my arms, and knowing that she was now going to be ours to take home, my eyes welled up and I started to cry. I don't know if it was the lack of sleep, or fatherly love, but I was so incredibly happy at that moment!

When I got Loan back on the phone, she said that the nanny would take me immediately to the doctor to speak with him because he wanted to talk to me. The nurse than told me to wait about 20 minutes......no problem. I carried Cai the whole time.

When I finally got to speak to the doctor I inquired about taking Cai out of the hospital. He explained that because she was now on IV antibiotic that she would need to stay in the hospital. I asked if he thought that she would be better off in the FV Hospital (thinking that since she's now off oxygen she won't need to be in the ICU). He said yes she would. Great! So how do we go about transferring her? Well, since I have no authority in the matter (I am not yet her guardian), the request must come from the orphanage. He explained that this hospital is responsible for all the kids in central and south Vietnam. As such, they can't "pass off" their patients to other hospitals. Therefore he can not make a recommendation for transfer. Nor can he recommend that she be released because she is not healthy enough. Okay, so I get Loan back on the phone. Since we were speaking in French I wanted to make sure I hadn't missed anything.

I figured now that Cai was off oxygen, that the orphanage would be able to make the request. I had a few more questions for the doctor so I told Loan I would call her back to arrange the transfer. I asked the doctor if, while we were waiting for the papers from the orphanage, Cai could be transferred to a private room, and that we would pay for the bill. He explained that in fact, though she was off oxygen now, she still needs it from time to time. So she needs to stay in the room with the other 5 patients because this is where the oxygen is. This was of course a disappointment, but maybe it will just be for tonight.......

I called back Loan after the doctor had left and she told me she had already spoken to Tri in Hanoi (TDH's main representative in Vietnam), and that Tri would be calling me in a few minutes.

I had told Virginia I would meet her at 3, and it was now 3:15, so I had to go. I made it down the stairs to the main floor when Tri called me on the phone. She explained that because they had already made the request twice to the orphanage, to allow Cai to be transferred, that they wouldn't ask again.

So after such incredibly high hopes, we were back to square one. Except that, Cai is clearly healthier than she has been for 28 days (first time in 28 days she has been off oxygen). Plus of the six babies in her room, she is the only original one remaining - meaning babies are getting better at this hospital all the time. I think the care at the hospital is great, it really is just a question of germs. Ironically as I was repeating this very thing to Tri (while standing in the hallway of the hospital on the main floor), two rats ran by me within about 3 meters.

So the end of the day was disappointing but the good news, is that Cai is on the road to recovery!

Tomorrow I plan to inquire about the change in antibiotic (I got too caught up in events today), and perhaps find out if it can be administered orally....hoping that would mean the hospital would be willing to release her.

Our little Tri is doing well. Virgina and I were commenting today in the taxi how big he is getting. Here is a photo of him in the taxi in the Vietnamese car seat (his mom)!

Merci Tous Mes Professeurs Francais!

.....Thank you to all my French teachers. It's been a while but at one point, the government of Canada declared me officially bilingual. That declaration would no longer be made today, I can assure you. However, given that Vietnam used to be a colony of France, the French language is a preferred second language to English for many Vietnamese. This was true for the doctor I spoke with today. Today, none of the doctors spoke English, but one of them asked if I spoke French.

So I had a lovely conversation for about 20 minutes with French (and uncontrollably, some Indonesian thrown in). I got the full medical history of Cai, and she was quite knowledgeable. She agreed that the FV Hospital would be a more sterile environment however, she could not speak about the quality of doctors there. In fact, she asked me if I had already confirmed that the hospital would take her! I was astonished by the question, but it turns out the quality of the neonatal ward at this new FV Hospital is not that great. It turns out that if the babies are too sick they actually send the babies to the hospital that Cai is in!!!!!

However, I do think that Cai is getting better, and as a result, I'm pretty sure that the best care will be the more sterile environment. Unfortunately the chief doctor was not there (he had already gone home when I got there), and the doctor I spoke with yesterday wasn't there either. So the doctor I spoke with today suggested I come in tomorrow before visiting hours when I can be sure to speak to the chief doctor. He is the one that will need to make the call.

I enclose a photo of Virginia walking Tri just in front of our apartment building. Saigon South International School is, as you can see, directly across the street. For those of you who have visited Jakarta or seen some of my photos, you will notice the marked contrast. Here we have sidewalks, wide streets with very little traffic, and all of the shops and restaurants that we would want within minutes, or some cases seconds, from our apartment.

Virginia's reaction to Cai's adoption proposal

Well I finally got the firewire required to download video, and since Cai is high on our minds, I thought I'd show you the video of when Virginia discovered that we were being offered Cai for adoption.
I awoke at 0100 on June 24 to give Tri is feeding. For some reason I couldn't sleep and so hopped on the computer to check email. There was a message from Helene, at TDH Ontario. It said
"I have just gotten off the phone with Dorinda (she is on holiday’s as I mentioned); we are very happy to let you know that we are proposing a girl to you from Vung Tau II."
I was pretty excited and would have liked to have awoken Virginia right away, but she was in need of her sleep. She had been looking after Tri all by herself for some time, and I was still relatively fresh. I decided that I'd like to capture her reaction on film. Knowing that she would do the early morning feeding and possibly check her email, I loosened the telephone cord from the ADSL modem so that the internet wouldn't work.
Sure enough when I awoke, she told me the internet wasn't working. So I did my magic (I teach computers don't you know) and plugged the telephone cord back in. The following is her reaction (note - Virginia would like to say that I share this video against her wishes. It is not her best fashion moment) :

The funny thing is, it wasn't till later that she realized that I had already known. I would have thought that given that I had the camera on her, she would have clued in, but clearly her head space was somewhere else! :)
In other news, I got some more information today from one of the Dr's at the hospital. I found out that she has been on two antibiotics for 25 days. One of them (Vanco or Vancocylin) is described as a "drug of last resort". So that doesn't sound too good. Yesterday or today, they have stopped her on these two drugs, and placed her on another antibiotic that she now takes orally.

The head Dr was not available today. When I suggested to the Dr that perhaps she would be less susceptible to infection if we could get her into a private room either at this hospital or FV Hospital (the preferred option), he said we would have to speak to the chief Dr.

My plan is to speak with him tomorrow and I am hoping that by asking the following questions we can get her over to the FV hospital:
1. Do you think if we could get Cai into a private room, she would be less susceptible to infection? (answer is obviously yes).
2. Do you have a private room available her? (the answer is no...they do, but not one that has oxygen available and she is still on oxygen).
3. Do you think then that perhaps she would be better off if we were to move her to FV Hospital? (the answer should obviously be yes)
4. Do you think you could speak to the director of the orphanage and tell her that this is what you recommend?

At this point, it really is about the sterile environment. That and the fact that if she was in FV Hospital, the nanny could go home and one of us could stay at the hospital and look after her. The hospital is a 20 minute walk from where we are staying. If he agrees with the above I plan to ask him if our paediatrician can come over so that he is familiar with her records. For example I don't even know if it is safe to move her since she is on oxygen.
Oh yes, I also asked if it was possible to get oxygen at home, but they said it had to be administered by a Dr 24 hours a day.

Will write tomorrow on the results of our efforts. In the mean time, here is a short clip of Cai in hospital.

Oops!

This is the title suggested to me by Virginia. I didn't mean to leave people hanging on the last post. I totally meant to update it after the conversation. I can't remember exactly what happened, though I think Virginia quickly updated me on the news which wasn't much. Essentially we had to wait for the doctors assessment today. Virginia was in with Cai today when they removed the Oxygen. They brought in a meter to measure % oxygen in the blood. Virginia watched the monitor as the % decreased from 95% to 90% to 85% to 80%. At that point as Cai turned blue (just joking), they decided that she needed to stay on Oxygen.......sad news! So where does that leave her? Still in the hospital. Tomorrow we will be meeting Loan at the hospital. I don't know what to expect. It is possible that she will be there to arrange movement of Cai to the closer, more sterile hospital, but that may just be wishful thinking.

Back to why we didn't update the blog after the conversation. The staff at Paris cafe just adore Tri. They all wanted to hold him. They passed him around and they were all taking photos of him with their cell phones. So Virginia got a photo of the staff holding Tri. I wanted to title this entry "One of us has turned into the mother we used to laugh about" but she preferred the title I have used. Because Virginia was very nervous as they passed him around. She was incredibly anxious!