John, Ginny, Tri and Cai

No more blog entries, just videos

2011-05-02T21:53:00.002+07:00

Well it has been over a year without a post. So this blog may have run it's course. We still post videos at www.youtube.com/holmesjw
So if you want to see how the kids are doing, the link above is your best bet.

A Trip to the Zoo

2010-03-11T14:24:00.003+07:00

We visited the zoo on Saturday. Here is a short clip of the kids.

Happy Chinese New Year

2010-02-16T21:09:00.004+07:00

We celebrated Chinese New Year on the weekend at our beach house. Last year we had the same plan, only Tri came down with Scarlet Fever so we were unable to attend. This year, however, we made it, and it was a lot of fun. For a while it looked like I would be unable to make it as I was stranded in the Frankfurt airport due to a snowstorm. Luckily however I was able to catch a flight just 24 hours late. Our driver picked me up from the airport and drove me straight down to the house. I arrived shortly before midnight.

In the video below, you may notice that Cai seemed a little out of sorts. This was the first time that I've been away from home, and the kids really missed me, and Cai in particular. But now that I'm back she still is not herself. It has now been 3 days, and it is slowly getting better.

Cai and Tri at Play

2010-02-08T21:56:00.000+07:00

Cai and Tri are playing with their new race track inside. Then later in the day, they are playing out in the park at our house in the JIS Bintaro complex. Cai loves airplanes and can spot them very far away. She hears the noise and immediately looks up to search for the plane.

A Birthday Celebration

2010-02-06T20:17:00.002+07:00

Ben and Susan were visiting from Turkey so they joined us for dinner and a small celebration for Tri's birthday. I missed the opening of their presents because they decided to open them on their own without informing us. Seems like they learned something at Christmas. I say their presents, as we made sure to include Cai in the festivities.
Here you see Tri blowing out his candles, and how proud he is. I liked it so much that the next day when we had more people over for more cake, I decided to put 2 candles on again so that he could do it again. I wish I had footage of the 2nd time. He knew what to expect (with the birthday song), and he was pleased as punch as all eyes were upon him as he blew out his candles.

Cai and Tri Play with Tanjie

2010-02-04T20:11:00.005+07:00

Tri and Cai try to play with their newly adopted kitten, Tanjy, from Tanjung Lesung. When they can't get her from under the furniture, they opt to play with Mommy instead.

To watch in HD click on the YouTube logo in bottom right of video. This will take you to YouTube and there is an option to watch in high definition.

Happy Birthday, Tri

2010-01-29T11:29:00.000+07:00

Tri turned two today. Here is a quick video of his first few awake moments as a two year old. Like last year, he was up bright and early to make the day as long as possible. A small family / friend celebration will take place on Saturday, and then a much larger celebration in February, which we will combine for Cai's birthday (we think this may be the last year we can get away with that).
Low definition video here

Higher quality video here

For highest quality go directly to youtube.com to watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmyF_hQh5Kw

Cai and Tri Adopt a Kitten

2010-01-26T13:36:00.006+07:00

While down at our beach house this past weekend, the kids (or should I say Virginia) fell in love with a litter of kittens. Somehow we ended up with one. The kids seem to be enjoying her. We named her Tanjy (I don't know how to spell it), for Tanjung Lesung, cause that is where she was born.
Here is some raw footage of the kids playing with the kittens at the sailing club.

If you want to watch the video in high definition, you'll need to go to the link in youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiSWjWWAwng

Learning Coach

2009-12-19T08:45:00.002+07:00

Our school has just announced a new position for next year... A Learning Coach. No one applied for the position because nobody knew what it was. They had to send out another notice trying to describe what the job entailed, and extended the deadline for applications.

Before the new notice, a couple of us were sitting around talking about what such a position might entail. We decided to make a video describing our vision.

By the way, PLC stands for Professional Learning Community, something that our school implemented just this year.

Here it is:

Halloween Party

2009-11-02T18:27:00.009+07:00

Halloween is not a holiday typically celebrated in Indonesia (though the stores are catching on that it is one more thing they can market and so it might be slowly, slowly catching on).

However we were invited to celebrate it at the Bintaro housing complex, a complex of 18 houses owned by JIS that are occupied by JIS teachers/families. There are many families with young kids (the oldest kid is grade 9, most are much younger). So Virginia went out to the store Saturday morning to purchase the kids costumes. As soon as she got back, she dressed the kids up and here they are. (Note, if you click on the "YouTube" watermark on the bottom right, it will take you to Youtube.com and then there will be an option on the bottom right that says "HD". This will allow you to watch the video in high definition)

The next video shows the kids at the party just before gong out to Trick or Treat. One of the teachers organized a cookie decorating party and here you can see Cai and Tri as they interact with the other kids. Cleana is the devil, and she did (and always does) a great job of playing with the kids.

The final video shows the kids trick or treating. I like this video the best because I was amazed to watch how quickly the kids picked it up. We weren't planning on having the kids trick or treat but before we knew it, the kids each had a bag. The cookie decorating was just beside the pool, and that was where the first treat was received. Then all the kids took off to the furthest house to begin the trick or treating. Here you will see as Tri takes off following the kids. By the time he reaches them, they are already on their way back. I thought he'd turn around and follow them, but no he continued to find his treat. I was surprised that he knew the place the treats in the bag.

Anyway, we had a great time and so did the kids. We are even contemplating moving back to this complex (we both spent our first year there) despite the greater distance to school (half hour drive versus 10 minute walk).

Happy Halloween

2009-10-30T13:37:00.002+07:00

Virginia created the following Halloween Special.

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Swimming in the Pool

2009-09-03T19:01:00.004+07:00

Well it's been a long time since I've posted. The kids are growing up fast and time is flying by. This year, I have a new job (Technology Integration Specialist) at JIS, and I am finding that I am very busy and that the days are going by very quickly.

But we do have time to play with our kids every day. We've discovered that the playground at our elementary school is fabulous. They leave bins around with toys. So we cycle (that is until this morning when we discovered our two bicycles were stolen from our front porch) to school with the kids in the bike seats and we play in the playground. They love to play with all the toys designed for sand (sifters and sand wheels, shovels and pails). There are also lots of slides (bigger than the ones we have at home). Our kids are very brave and love to climb up high and slide down.

If we don't go to the playground, we go for a swim. The kids are getting to be very good swimmers. Tri has picked it up a little faster than Cai, but they're both progressing quickly. Below is a 4 minute video of the kids swimming, and jumping in the pool.

We filmed in high definition, but at the moment I'm not having much luck uploading HD to YouTube, so for now, it's just the regular quality.

Happy Mother's Day From Me Too!

2009-05-10T17:19:00.001+07:00

Hi Mommy,
I helped make your book. I made the title of the book. I thought of the title and I helped Daddy write it too. I made a little video that you can watch!

Happy First Mother's Day

2009-05-10T11:35:00.005+07:00

Happy mother's day, Mommy.

Daddy, Tri and I are so happy that you are our mommy! You always make me laugh, and cuddle me whenever Tri hurts me.

Tri and I thought that we could make you a book that you could read to us at night. We both really like it when you read to us, but some of the books you have bought us are a little boring. Lots of colours, and animals, but no real good storeis about babies from Vietnam.

So we thought we could make you a book about two little babbies from Vietnam. Daddy and I looked through some photos and tried to make you a book. Daddy got a little frustrated sometimes because the store he went to used old software (whatever that is). He says that later we can all work together and make a much better book by not even going to the store.

Here are some pages that we printed that are in your book.

Tri says he is going to post a video of how he helped (he only printed the title page....I did all the work with the photos).

We hope you love the book mommy. The book comes from our heart, not our wallet. Daddy says that is the best (or cheapest) present one can give!

Ok, Last Set of Photos for Tonight

2009-04-27T22:06:00.000+07:00

All right, I'm getting a handle on this Picasa upload stuff. Now I know what I'm doing. I'll just quickly give a description for each photo below.

Tri after his haircut

Cai waving as she cycles with Mommy down at Tanjung Lesung (Tri is on the front of the 2nd bike with our friend Eric).

Tri and Daddy on the beach at Tanjung Lesung

Cai, asleep on the bike.

One more shot

2009-04-27T22:01:00.000+07:00

I just wanted to upload this photo as well, because I think Cai looks so incredibly pretty!

Playing with Paper

2009-04-27T21:58:00.000+07:00

Ok, so this is the photo I meant to upload. Cai and Tri can not get enough of paper! Old airline tickets, unpaid bills, or better yet, money...they love it all.
Here is a shot taken early one morning after they got tired of jumping on our bed. They're always up for playing on the floor and going through my bag to play with any and all papers.

A few shots of our kids

2009-04-27T21:54:00.000+07:00

Ok, I don't know what I just did, but I won't botther fixing it.
I was just going to upload a shot of the kids. But I decided to do it right through my photo album (Picasa). Anyway, it didn't upload what I thought, but hey these photos will do.
I may pop the original photos I meant to include in a minute.

Tri Gets His First Haircut

2009-04-14T20:45:00.004+07:00

Well, "First", is perhaps not entirely accurate. We have attempted on a couple of occaisions to cut his hair. I suggested we pull out my electric razer and shave his head a couple of months back. I assured Virginia that we could place it on setting 4 and it wouldn't cut to close. Well, Tri did not appreciate the razer and we ended up shaving a couple of different spots bald, so this time it was off to the barber.

We thought this would be far easier. There is a chain of children's barbers that have toy cars that the kids sit in, and TV screens showing cartoons that the kids can watch as they get their hair cut.

You be the judge as to how successful this was at distracting Tri.

Some recent changes in my life

2009-04-08T12:27:00.005+07:00

I've found that being a father has given me a new sense of rhythm. I've taken to dancing most weekends with colleagues from work. Below is a quick little number we performed last weekend (I'm on the bottom right).

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Morning Routine

2009-04-04T13:37:00.003+07:00

A quick video of Cai just before she turned 1 year old. I realize in the video, I say, 1 years old, but I'm posting it anyway.

This next video is a quick shot of our kids as they play in bed with us one morning. The kids love to open the curtain behind our bed and look at how bright it is outside. Typically the sun is just rising, so I guess it's not that early, but boy it sure feels early on some mornings.

Cai Likes to Snuggle

2009-04-02T16:53:00.001+07:00

Every evening we spend 15-25 minutes watching Sesame Street. Here you see Cai and Tri as they snuggle with Mommy. What Cai finds so amusing we're not sure, but we're always happy to see her having fun.

Cai Turns One Today

2009-03-19T13:44:00.003+07:00

Happy Birthay, Cai.
Cai has been teething the last week so she's been sleeping with us. So we awoke to find a one year old girl in our bed, for the first time ever. When Tri awoke, we brought him in and recorded her first few awake moments as a one year old.
We're off to the beach house (www.tlrentals.com) after school today to spend a week with our friends Eric and Kathy and their two kids.
The video below is from this morning.

Bumper Cars and Chinese New Year

2009-02-18T20:45:00.002+07:00

I'm in Kuala Lumpur for the week becoming certified as a "Smart Board Trainer". So it's nice that I've got my laptop full of photos and videos of the kids. The first just shows the kids as they scoot around the house in their walkers. You'll notice that Cai is waving as she is going in and out of the curtain because mommy is goodbye...she seems to know to wave goodbye.

The 2nd video is just a quick glimpse into "Chinese New Year" festivities. It's shot from our balcony looking across the street at our neighbours. They had a dragon dance in honour of the end of Chinese New Year. One tradition is envelopes full of money are handed out to children (and dragons it would appear). Cai and Tri each received Rp 10,000 in their envelopes from Kathy Nesteroff. In the video, you'll see a woman swinging a bamboo pole with an envelope attached at the end. The dragon tries to grab as many of these envelopes as it can.

Tri's Birthday Party

2009-02-09T20:40:00.007+07:00

Happy Birthday, Tri! A farily large gathering was held in Tri's honour on Sat Jan 31, 2009, to celebrate Tri's first birthday. A crowd of 30 arrived, and Tri was the center of attention. It was nice, but I think I preferred it more once everyone left and I finally got to spend some time with my kids again.

We didn't do a very good job of getting footage of the party. A dead battery and also handing our camera to someone else proved to be a mistake. The following video was the best I could manage to give a sense of the auspicious occasion. I am going to try to embed the video twice at different qualities to see if I can see a difference between the two. The first one is regular quality, and if I succeed there will be a 2nd video of a highher quality.

Ok, I've now tested it, and the link below is indeed a higher quality. This means it takes more bandwidth and will take longer to play. But if these are not big issues, you can choose the one below. We're not talking hugely better quality, but the footage is definitely more crisp.

Happy Birthday Tri

2009-01-30T06:52:00.003+07:00

Well Tri turned one year old yesterday. To celebrate, we're posting two videos. One shows how adept Cai is at crawling. The thumbnail on the front features Tri (since it's his birthday, but it's really about Cai).

The second video shows Tri kissing his stuffed animals. Soon it will be the ladies, but for now, it's just the animals....and my feet. Yesterday for some reason he kept wanting to kiss the socks on my feet (maybe because it's softer than the scruff of my face). What is cool in this video is it happens to catch the very first step that mommy and daddy have seen Tri take. It's not a big one, but the longest journey begins with a single step. Here it is.

Some Laughter and Some Peek-A-Boo

2008-12-02T21:30:00.002+07:00

Our Niece, Crystal arrived today. Last night as I was going to bed, I thought I'd better double check her flight details. It's a good think I did, as we actually thought she was arriving tomorrow. So luckily we were able to ask our driver to come in to work today even though it was his day off, to meet her at the airport. She's had her first massage, and more importantly, met the kids. Crystal is the last relative we saw when leaving Canada way back in January (it's been a long time), and she's the first we've seen again. She's also the first to meet the kids in person.
Speaking of kids, wo quick clips to show you today. The first is short clip of Cai as she laughs up a storm with Mommy. Cai is now capable of spinning on the spot 360 degrees, but she's not yet capable of crawling forward. She's starting to jump more and more as she develops her leg muscles.

The next video shows Tri as he plays peek a boo. He loves to crawl into the kitchen area behind the curtains, then turn right around as we call out for him. This video was the first day that he did this, and since then, he's only enjoying it more.

Vox Essential Sing for Cai and Tri

2008-11-26T17:35:00.004+07:00

Just a quck post. Virginia is in a singing group that meets after school. Today, rather than meet at school, they met at our house to practice some Christmas carols for an upcoming Christmas gig. So Cai and Tri got a private performance. Here they are singing a verse of Deck the Halls. I'll add a few other video snapshots of the evening later.

Happy Birthday, Grandma Holmes

2008-11-21T22:01:00.001+07:00

Well, Grandma has headed to the United States to partake in her second Thanksgiving of the year. We tried to call but I think we were too late. So Cai and Tri thought they'd send their wishes in the form of a video and song.
Here it is Grandma. We wish we could be there to help you celebrate and we can't wait to see you in December.

Cai's Little Piggies

2008-11-20T23:03:00.002+07:00

Well Cai continues to be disinterested in her night time bottle. Tonight I was milking the bottle, as she just doesn't suck. I got her to take 90 ml and then decided to just let her sleep. We think that we may not even bother doing that in the future. If she doesn't want it, maybe she doesn't need it.

Today I took a couple of short clips of Cai and Tri playing. The first shows how adept Cai is getting at sitting on her own. She now rarely falls backwards (though we still keep pillows behind her).

The second video shows us that Tri is understanding words. We will clap your hand if you ask him to. If you ask him to touch his head, or "where is Tri's head", he will frequently put his hand on his head. I think it's pretty amazing that he now understands these things.

I'm on night time duty and it's now past 11pm so I gotta get some sleep.

Happy Birthday, Cai

2008-11-19T22:15:00.002+07:00

Happy Birthday, Cai

Cai turned 8 months today, and she celebrated by not imbibing at all. We’re having great difficulty getting her take her evening (just before bedtime) bottle. Tonight Virginia is very stressed as a result (possibly related to the fact that she is the one on call tonight ~ funny how I seem not to be bothered by it…tonight at least).
Here is a video of Cai and Tri as they watch “The Big Blue House”. Every evening the kids get from 10 – 30 min of a video. And while the kids may not yet understand the meaning of “no” they do seem to know that when the television comes on, they should stop whatever it is they are doing. In the video Tri has a warm hand for his 8 month old sister. It’s really not that exciting, but gives you a glimpse at what they look like today.

In the second video, we catch a glimpse of Tri in the bathtub. Over the last week he has started pulling himself up to a standing position providing he has something of low height to prop himself up with (a pillow, my leg while sitting, etc). Well today this happened for the first time in the bathtub. Bath time suddenly became a little more challenging. I couldn’t quite get him to replicate the initial act (I tried, but you might hear a few thoughts from Virginia on my attempts to capture the footage versus sitting ready to catch him if/when he falls). But I think this short series of clips will give you a bit of an idea. Pay careful attention to the last few frames of the video! OUCH!

Is it Too Early for Christmas?

2008-11-17T06:31:00.004+07:00

Not according to Virginia! We leave to come back to Canada on December 20, we will be in Bali one weekend with our niece Crystal (and possibly niece Kim) one weekend, and one weekend we'll at our beach house, so that will only leave two weekends left at our house in Jakarta. So Virginia decided it was time to get the Christmas tree out. I think the fact that last week's Canadian Tire flyers had Christmas things for sale also helped.

So we've got a few videos to show. The first is just of Cai and Tri as they play. They are becomming better and better at playing on their own and with each (I guess this is no surprise as they are getting older, but as a first time around parent, it's still pretty cool to watch these changes).

The second is a shot of the kids and the tree.

This last one stars Charlie and Ella. Their mother is gone to Africa for one week to interview for a head of school position, so she may enjoy catching a glimpse of what they've been up to in her abscence.

Cai Gets Her First Tooth

2008-11-14T20:39:00.002+07:00

We'll it's about time. I've been saying for three months that Cai is teething. Today she finally proved me right!
She has had a tooth appear on her bottom front. She is taking the pain far better than Tri did when he was teething.
Here are two more videos.

The first is just of Tri laughing

The 2nd is one of Tri as he grasps for the camera. Both kids seem very aware of when the camera comes out. Cai unfortunately tends to be become more serious and thus it is generally more difficult to get photos of her smiling or video of her laughing.

UN Day at School

2008-11-14T05:58:00.003+07:00

We'll it's my favourite day of the school year....UN Day!

Our school has over 60 nationalities represented (although only about 45 in the high school), and today we celebrate this fact.

There are no classes today, but instead a special schedule involving Global Issues. Lunch is catered by all the parents with food from around the world (a little like Folklore in Kingston, or Caravan in Toronto)

Students and teachers will get dressed up, there will be a performance in the afternoon. We've got our Vietnamese outfits, and the plan is to have the kids come to school and meet us at lunch.

It should make for some nice pictures.

Until then, here are two more videos:

The first is of Tri and Cai as they practice standing. This video is from about a week ago, and already Tri can now almost pull himself up to a standing postion on his....wow these kids are growing up fast.

and here is one showing Cai in several different laughing scenes

Adoption Day...so long ago!

2008-11-12T20:11:00.004+07:00

As I mentioned I've been slowly uploading videos to Youtube, and images to Picasa. After reading comments from those still in the process of adopting (some parents have seen their kids in the photos that we took at the orphanage), it got us remembering our big day.
The two videos below are from that day.

The morning of the Giving and Receiving Ceremony we had to wake up early. This is a video as we woke up Cai and Tri for their big day!

The 2nd one you may have already seen, but after my niece and nephew spotted a "thumbs up" in the video, I did a quick edit to slow that part down, so that the "thumbs up" is readily seen.

Moments after officially becoming our children, I ask Cai and Tri how they feel about their new parents. This is what they said.

The third video is a shot of "Tigger Tri"

Tri loves to jump up and down. It started back in Vietnam when he would bounce to "5 Little Monkeys". Since then he'll bop to anything, but really loves his song "Tigger"

Visit to our Orphanage

2008-11-06T22:11:00.007+07:00

Well months ago, we said we'd post some photos of the kids at the orphanage in Vung Tau. Then a woman who is currently in the process of adopting a child from Vung Tau asked if we had any photos. Hopefully we'll have some shots of her child.
It would have been nice to have had shots of Tri and Cai from before we knew them, but we've been out of luck.
So below is a slide show of the photos from the orphanage. By clicking on the slideshow, I think it will take you to the Picasa Photo album. From there you can get high resolution images which should be adequate for printing out.

I'm now in the process of uploading a bunch of short clips of the kids to YouTube and images to Picasa. Then anyone (which probably just means Bonnie and Bruce) can take a look at all of the photos and videos that we have of the kids.
A picture might be worth a thousand words, but a video tells much more.
So here is a short clip of Tri as he's learning to crawl.

Tri Plays Catch

2008-11-05T20:43:00.002+07:00

A short video clip of Tri playing catch. The clip is from last night.

Kids in their walkers

2008-11-04T20:46:00.002+07:00

We got back from a week at the West Coast and spent the weekend at home. We decided to leave both walkers up at the beach, and so went out on Saturday to buy two more for Jakarta. Here are the kids in their new strollers.

Our Little Princess!

2008-11-02T09:34:00.000+07:00

A week at the beach

2008-11-02T07:32:00.000+07:00

MOMENTS

2008-11-02T06:14:00.000+07:00

OK,
Virginia wrote the following some time ago. We put it in draft till I could add some photos. This still hasn't been done, so I'm just posting this.
I'll add a video or two of the kids in their new walkers. Gives them a little too much freedom in my mind!
Tri is now crawling, and he gets better at it and faster each day.

As I sit down (finally) to write another blog, I realize how much I have to write about. Yes, it has been a long while since I wrote; it is amazing to me how quickly the days can fly by when you have two little ones and I am often so tired at the end of the day that the mere thought of tippy-tapping away at the computer can bring me to tears.

But now, at 6 a.m. when the apartment is quiet and John has (thank God) joined us again in Vietnam, I will enjoy a cup of tea and begin to write down some of what I have neglected to report. I can only think of one title for this blog: Moments. Because that is what we have - moments - small bits of time that weave together to create this wonderful life of ours. Some of the moments have been wonderful, others frustrating, some filled with tears, but many filled with giggling babies.

As we near the end of our time here in Vietnam, I am am compelled to look back at it and wonder: how on earth did we ever do it? I have been here for almost three months and when I think about all of the changes that have taken place in my life in that time, I am astounded. I have gone from being a teacher, a wife, a sister, a daughter, to being a MOM.

Bar none, the biggest change of my life. It has changed the very core of who I am; I can no longer define myself any other way - mom comes first.

And it has made me realize how much MY mom had to go through with me: you are amazing mom!!

Okay, on to the moments.
I apologize if this is a long blog, but hey, I have a lot to catch up on. I include moments in no particular order. Some of them happened a while ago, others more recently. I include them in the order in which I think about them. And let's face it, my brain is sleep deprived and a little scrambled these days!

MOMENT #1: My 40th Birthday!
Everyone who knows me knows this: I am BIG on birthdays. I have been known to sport a tiara for a week, while I order those about me to pay tribute to the birthday girl. Not always to great effect. Now, my 40th birthday was going to be SOMETHING. I rememeber talking with our friends Luke and Sophie; we discussed a "Fourty is Fabulous Cruise" where we'd all dress in plaid, knee-high socks and grannie dresses and stalk the decks of some unsuspecting cruise ship en masse, in celebration of the year we all turn 40. Didn't happen. Then, I thought: a PARTY. A big one. A surprise, of course, that I would plan and then pretend not to know about. Didn't happen. And then, out of the blue, MOTHERHOOD. Boy, did that change things. I must admit, I was a little sad that I would be spending my birthday in a strange country, without friends. Of course, I had John and the kids, but where was my big ta-do?? I woke up that day feeling older, a lot older.

Then John stepped in.
I was treated to breakfast in bed, where I played with my beautiful children for about an hour. Man, they are cute - the best presents I ever got. Later, we all went out to lunch as my favourite little spot and after lunch I was scooted off to the spa for a massage, facial and foot treatment. Sufficiently pampered, I then went shopping. Without kids!! Bought myself a few cute little numbers and headed home, excited to see my family. When I got in, I found the table set with homemade birthday fudge (no ingredients for a cake to be found), wine, candles and presents. The children must have known, for they let me smoother them in kisses before they quickly went to sleep, leaving time for a glass of wine on the balcony and a great view of a thunderstorm coming in.

It was the best birthday ever.

But maybe not for John. He was TIRED.
And I love him for it.

And you know, 40 is really the new 40, anyway!

MOMENT #2: Tri stands up for the first time
When you have children, every little coo and caa, every little wave of a hand and spit from a mouth is adorable. You await, with great anticipation, the next "big" event. When will he crawl? When will she turn over? When will they talk? It is such an adventure. John and I have been so lucky to see these changes in our children. Many adoptive parents do not see their children this early and so we have been blessed with many "firsts" that, otherwise, we might have missed. One of my favourite's for Tri is pretty recent: he can now stand up, while holding onto something. Okay, not a huge feat, but when you think about how sick this little boy was, it is amazing. He is a very strong and very physical little boy: our athlete in waiting. Everyone says not to rush this standing, walking thing. "Life will be over as you know it," they all say. I say, bring it on!! And way to go, Tri!

MOMENT #3: Cai finally finds her groove
We call her The Contessa. Our Cai definitely has a mind of her own. I like that in a girl. I like that in anyone, really. But, our Cai has also been pretty fussy. She has had so many moments of not eating, crying, screaming and general unhappiness, that there were times when I thought it must be me: I am just not good enough for this little brave little girl who has been through so much. And, honestly, it was exhausting. Cai would cry all the time. All the time. And she wouldn't eat. I was worried, worried, worried. And I took her to the doctor (he thinks I am a crazy lady). And I tried EVERYTHING. She was my little lab rat, Cai. Nothing seemed to do the trick. Until one night. I was all alone - no nanny, no John, just me and the kids. It was nice, actually. Both babies woke up at the same time, crying to be fed. Hmmmm.....how to do this? I propped Cai up on one pillow and Tri on the other and began to feed. It was about 4 a.m.. I couldn't help but laugh: someone needed to videotape that moment. But a miraculous thing happened: CAI ATE! And ate well. Without complaint. Who knew? All she really wanted was to lay back and enjoy a good bottle - and don't we all? So now, when I feed Cai, she blissfully reclining in her bouncy chair. And we are all much happier.

MOMENT #4: Power Struggle
It is always difficult to explain the concept of nanny to someone who does not live overseas. I do not mean this as a slight, a moment of bragging. Just the opposite. When you live away from family and friends, you are left without a support network - people to tell you what you are doing right/wrong as a mom, people with whom you can share your experiences. And taking care of children without this network is difficult. And so, people get nannies. It is funny, I was totally against the idea when I first moved to Indonesia. "I will raise my own children!" was my motto. But now I understand. A nanny sort of becomes one of the family. And she does not, could not, would not replace mommy and daddy. She is really convienient day-care. Loving, wonderful, personal day-care. When we get home from work, the nanny will step into the background and mommy and daddy will take over. And this is good. During my stay, here in Vietnam, I also needed help. Essentially, we have twins. And they were pretty sick little babies when we took them on. So when John had to go back to Indonesia to work, I was left here very much alone and while I could do this alone, life would be pretty hard. So, I got some help. Tam was referred to us by Loan (our adoption agency representative). Tam is Loan's God daughter and has worked in Cai and Tri's orphanage, so she came with a lot of experience. She is a 21 year old, lovely girl who really loves our kids. And so, she moved in. To our very tiny two bedroom flat. Yikes. As Alpha-Dog (those of you who know me are shocked), I struggled with this. Not so good at sharing my privacy, I tried really hard to open up to this woman. A little challenging, given the fact that she does not speak English. We communicated with hand-signs. I am used to this, as an expat, but it is different when it is 24 hours a day. We also struggled with different ways of life: I love to get out and exercise with the kids: walking and swimming usually take up my day. But Tam HATES to walk, HATES the sunshine and would have a little tantrum when I said, "get ready, we are going!" Oy (as my friend Brandi would say). Then there was the "who is the mother, here" struggle. A truly wonderful thing about the Vietnamese (like the Indonesians) is that they absolutely adore children. Having said that, they like to tell you (again with handsigns) how to raise yours. Oy.

MOMENT #5: John comes to visit for his birthday
MOMENT #6: Our friends from Montreal
MOMENT #7: Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

TERRIBLY THANKFUL

2008-10-13T20:28:00.003+07:00

Okay, so it has been a ridiculously long time since either John or I blogged. Can you say twins? Or as good as? We have been very busy since our arrival home in Jakarta. Never a dull moment! We are all very happy, though and John and I love our little blessings more and more every day! And are they ever changing quickly!! Having babies sure does make time move; I keep telling them to STOP GROWING but they just don't seem to listen to me. A taste of things to come (aka puberty!).

So, on this Canadian Thanksgiving, I thought I better get around, finally, to blogging. I will do my best to blog every week. Otherwise, I have no doubt my family will ensure we are not allowed in the country in December!

And so what are we thankful for?

1. TIME ON THE BEACH WITH DADDY:

This is a shot from the beach just in front of our beach house on the West coast of Java. We know how lucky we are to live in such a beautiful part of the world and there is nothing like a little family time on a virtually empty stretch of white sand. No tourists here! But can we ever get lots of sand in our diapers!!!

2. TIME WITH FRIENDS:

Here we are with some of our friends, just hanging out. We are lucky to have many wonderful friends here in Jakarta.

The life of an expat means that you say hello and then goodbye to many people; that is not always easy. But we have been blessed with many interesting and fantastic friends, here. We never ever, however, forget our friends and family back home. That is the only difficult part about living so far away. We always miss them.

3. FASHION, BABY, FASHION:

Okay, the pictures say it all, here.

4. BROTHERS AND SISTERS:

Hey, are you wearing my suit???? Okay, only my mom will get that joke, but mom, I hope it makes you laugh out loud!!

5. EACH OTHER

Most of all, we try really hard to remember how lucky we are to be together - the Holmes family!!

We're Home!!!!

2008-08-31T21:31:00.003+07:00

Wow, at times it seemed like we'd never make it, but last night finally arrived. The kids were great on the plane, the plane itself was barely able to takeoff given all the excess baggage we had, but we arrived home, and the kids had a great night. Feeding them was difficult last night and this morning, as they knew they were in a new home and were very occupied with checking out the surroundings, but they now already seem to be at home.
We spent way too many hours at the mall this morning/afternoon. This is an experience I want to do away with. Spending our weekends at the beach seems like much better family time, than weekends at the mall.

When we got home, we arrived to friends awaiting us on our front porch. Kathy and her three adopted kids. Kathy is a single mother and is twice as good as parenting as most couples. She adopted her two oldest kids, Sam and Lina from Vietnam, back in '99. Then her sister, Melody (one of my closest friends) adopted Jack from Cambodia. When Melody passed away due to Cancer five years ago, Kathy assumed custody of Jack. It is so nice having them as friends. Her children will be excellent roll models for our kids. We have other friends here that have adopted children as well from Vietnam, China and Africa. It has been really nice to be able to talk with them as we've gone through this process. At times, it has felt like they were more excited about our kids than we were :)

Here is a photo of (in order of age) Sam, Lina, Jack, Tri and Cai.

Kathy adopted Sam and Lina at the same time, like we have. Sam was about 9 months old and Lina I think was about 5 months old. So she really has a sense of what we've been going through. I can't count the number of times Virginia and I have remarked how lucky we are that we are doing this together and not as a single parent.

Babysitter While We Pack

2008-08-30T08:16:00.003+07:00

We'll we're out of here in a few hours, and still much to pack. Luckily we have a babysitter! Baby Einstein!

Legal Parents at Last

2008-08-28T20:33:00.004+07:00

Well the day has finally come! John and Virginia are officially/legally parents. When asked how they felt about this turn of events, Tri and Cai had this to say (note we shot only one video....no retakes, no rehearsals.....what can we say, our kids know how to perform on cue!):

Virginia has a bunch of other stuff written about various "moments" in Vietnam which we will post shortly. But time just flies by. This morning we left at 0630 and got back at 1730. Tomorrow we'll depart at 0700 and again be out all day. Tomorrow we plan to be at the Vietnamese passport office at 0745. We are hoping to get their passports before the end of the day. We also will initiate Canadian citizenship and passport applications. But we don't need these to leave Vietnam.
Most Canadians would need to stay longer to either wait for Canadian passports to return to Canada, or wait for a Canadian visa for the Vietnamese passports. Luckily, Vietnamese citizens do not require a visa to enter Indonesia. So as long as we get their Vietnamese passports by tomorrow evening, we're good to fly home to Jakarta on Saturday!
Then, the Canadian passport process can take longer. Ultimately we'll need them for December, and it will make things much easier if we can get them earlier, so that we can get them permanent stay residence status in Indonesia (Vietnamese are technically only welcome for 30 days in Indonesia).
Off to bed!

What a GREAT DAY!

Life's A Beach!

2008-08-13T20:17:00.008+07:00

Boy, did I NEED some adult company. I didn't realize how much until I met Annie and Terry, a Canadian couple from Montreal. They are here in Vietnam with their daughter Mya and now they have a new addition to their family: a wonderful little boy they call Lyam. I liked Annie and Terry as soon as I met them; they both have a great sense of humour and we get along very well. So well, in fact, that we just spent 3 days together at a beach called Mui Ne. It is about 4 hours from Saigon; they were planning on going and they asked me and the kids to come along. And we did! I have to say, however, traveling is just not the same with two babies - we had so much stuff! Above is a picture of Annie with SOME of our stuff! Holy over-packing Batman!

And the beach was lovely - white sand as far as the eye can see, deep blue sky, warm breeze, and did I mention there were ADULTS THERE??? Anyone who is a stay-at-home parent will understand. I absolutely love my children, but it can be pretty challenging (and lonely) being here without friends or family. We spent our days swimming in the pool and our evenings having dinner with Terry, Annie, Lyam and Mya.

As you can see below, Tri (as usual) was the life of the party - dancing on tables and such. Cai, however, had a little too much wine with dinner and passed out in her pram!

We stayed at a hotel/resort called the Seahorse. It is very nice, right on the ocean. But I don't recommend it; the owners were really out for money. I think it is a little over-priced for this part of the world and, get this, when we decided to leave a couple of days early, they were going to charge us for nights we DID NOT stay. What???

Terry and Annie went to the front desk to tell them that we'd be checking out the next day and upon hearing this ridiculous news, Terry called me in my room and told me to come to the office and "raise a fuss". Well, did I!! It was great!!! I laid it on THICK, vented all of my frustrations about being here alone, pulled out the old acting skills and let her rip! It was very cathartic. And, they finally agreed. To tell the truth, I think they were just a little bit afraid of me (and Annie, she is no slouch).

It was fun.
And boy, did I need it.

But, all in all the beach trip was fun. We swam a lot - both Cai and Tri love the water, I am happy to say. The only problem was that Cai was just not feeling well - she had a lingering reaction to her mega-vaccine (she had five in one - we will NEVER do that again). She wouldn't eat and I was worried. I am happy to report, however, that she is MUCH better now that we are home! Whew!

But then, it might just be like John says: Cai is fussy, she cries a lot, and she is difficult.....hmmmmm.......like mother like daughter? Perhaps.

On another note, Tri now has TWO TEETH!! Hurray for Tri. Sadly, he is really suffering. Poor little boy. It really hurts! And when Tri gets crying, his sister likes to join in (out of sympathy).

And a final word - daddy comes in two more days!!! We can't wait. We love you daddy (John). xo

CALL THE TOOTH FAIRY!

2008-08-07T20:18:00.000+07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen (drum roll, please)........................ Tri Franklin Holmes HAS A TOOTH! Okay, so maybe it isn't as exciting to the rest of you, but to those of us with no adults to talk to, it is monumental! I did a major happy dance in Tri's honour! The only sad thing is that his daddy had to hear about it on skype and that he wasn't here to see it. Don't worry, daddy - there are more on their way!

In other news, mommy is very, very tired. So this is going to be a short blog: Cai and mommy were up all night last night. Poor Cai had a horrible reaction to her first vaccine - fever, sore spot and a rash. It was awful and the sweet little thing could not bear to be out of my arms. And so we sat and talked softly all night. She finally fell asleep around 5am, but only for an hour.

The day went a little better and she seemed a lot better before she went to bed - almost our same old sweet, smiling Cai. Here she is having a little cozy play time before bed.

Man, we have wonderful kids!

Out Here On Our Own

2008-08-06T21:05:00.007+07:00

Well, we are surviving! It was way more fun with daddy around, but Tri, Cai and I are doing fine. We do our best to get out for walks (when it isn't raining), dance when we can and sing lots and lots of songs. We sure do miss family dance time, though: the whole Holmes clan loves to crank up Sharon, Lois and Bram and dance our faces off! Tri is especially enthusiastic about family dance time - his whole body shakes with excitement and his arms and legs flap and flap....

Today we went to see Dr. Jonathan. He is our FAVOURITE pediatrician. What a wonderful doctor; we wish we could bring him to Jakarta with us. Both Cai and Tri had a check up and I, the over-protective, over-organized, over-anxious mother, had a million questions for him about poop, food, gas and all that good stuff. I will spare you the details. Both children are healthy and happy - and so far I am not doing anything terribly wrong!

Then we had a big outing - the grocery store. Oh, what an exotic life we lead! I went looking for baby food and juice and came back with the cutest little hats for the kids. I am including a picture here - they are the kind that look like a bandana tied at the back. I think Tri, in particular, looks like a real biker! You go, Tri!

Tomorrow, I hope to go and see Terry and Annie - a Canadian couple who have recently arrived in Vietnam and whose Giving and Receiving ceremony will be the same as ours. Let's hope that is soon.

On that front, I had a bit of a melt-down, yesterday. I know, those of you who know me well are SHOCKED that I could be dramatic. I guess it was just one of those days and the pressure of leaving my "real life" behind for 3 months was getting to me. You see, I organized a new program for work and now I am not there to get it set up. So there have been many skype calls to the new staff, in a vane hope to help them feel better about being out there on their own. A lot of that going around. They are lovely women, though and I am sure they are just fine. Still, hard to manage career and mommy-hood and I am not even AT WORK!

I have renewed respect for parents who work full-time and raise happy, healthy children. Hats off to you.

And so, it looks like we have 10 more days until we see daddy - he is coming for a long weekend visit. It is also his birthday, so the kids and I will have some surprises up our sleeves! We can't wait! And then, we he goes back again, it will only be a short while (we hope) until he is back for the ceremony and then to take us home!! Hurray! It will be so wonderful to have our family together again - John is missing so much! Below is a photo of Tri drinking ON HIS OWN for the first time!

WE MISS YOU DADDY!

2008-08-03T20:09:00.002+07:00

Tri and Cai were just telling me how much they miss their daddy. It just isn't the same around here without him. Dancing with just mommy isn't quite as exciting and Tri is always looking for his daddy so he can shake all over with excitement.

Cai laughed out loud today. A wonderful, full belly (sort of) laugh. I was so sorry John missed it.

We got some bad news today: it looks like our Giving and Receiving ceremony has been postponed a little longer - again. I am very, very sad to say that it looks like I will be here in Vietnam, without John, for longer than I had hoped. The latest is that the ceremony may be the last week of August. John will come back, then. Boy, I wish it was sooner. We will then have to wait a week for passports before we can go home.

So send your warm thoughts: it is pretty lonely here in Vietnam with no one to talk to. Unless, of course, I can figure out this language!! My plan is to get out every day: to the zoo, to a museum, shopping, whatever. Anything to make the days more fun.

And, for you addicts out there, I will try and keep blogging!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen.....John has left the building!

2008-08-02T11:28:00.005+07:00

Well, I am sad to say that John has left Vietnam for Jakarta, leaving behind the three of us to fend for ourselves! We are very sad to see him go and we hope it won't be long before we get word that our Giving and Receiving ceremony will be soon and John can come back to get us! We want to go home!!

We are doing well, though and we have a nanny with us to make life a little easier. She is wonderful. Her name is Tam and she has known Tri a long time: she was his nanny in the hospital before I got here. So we are settling in well.

Now let me tell you about yesterday's adventure!!!

Since it was John's last day in Vietnam, we decided to go to the zoo. "Never mind those rain clouds," I boasted to John, "It will be fine!" Famous last words.

The zoo was great - lots of shady trees to walk under, very pretty, lions and tigers and bears, oh my. The usual. Tri got so excited at the petting-zoo with the goats. It was adorable! When he is excited, his whole body literally shakes. It is a riot. And Cai really seemed to enjoy herself, too. She is really coming along - smiling all the time now. And she can take a soother!! Life is good.

So....to the adventurous part.

I saw the thick, black, ominous clouds first.

And then the crack of thunder.

And then the race to find shelter!

It was CRAZY!! Tropical rains continue to amaze me. They are violent and beautiful all at the same time. We found shelter (thank God) and spent the next 1 1/2 hours feeding the children (gotta love bottles-to-go) and riding out the storm.

We waited.

And waited.

And waited.

No end to the rain. And it was getting dark.

So, we prepared to venture forth. We put both kids (now mercifully sleeping) into one carriage, attached the rain-cover and set out. The water was past-ankle-deep. And wouldn't you know it - NO TAXIS!!! So we went to a nearby hotel (the one I stayed at when I arrived), ate dinner and waited.

We waited.

And waited.

Not a taxi to be had.

Well, as you must have guessed, we DID make it home. Eventually. All in all, I think we waited about 4 hours. The kids had their bedtime bottles in the taxi on the way home and flopped into bed. Happily (not) John and I stayed up to pack!

Looking back, I think the last time I suggested we "just go anyway" it poured like mad.

Why do people listen to me?

And so now, we are without daddy. We already miss him.

Hurry back, John! We love you xoxo

6 Hands are Better than 4

2008-07-31T07:28:00.003+07:00

Well, we were greeted this morning by the arrival of a gift from God....in the form of a temporary nanny, Tam.  Tam is the god daughter of Loan, our TDH representative here in Ho Chi Minh. I believe that at one point she had been placed in the same orphanage as Tri and Cai, because her parents couldn't afford to look after her. I get the sense that this happened when she was an older child....perhaps about 14.  Loan therefore took her under her wing and has been helping her out ever since.  She is now 21 or 23 and now lives with her grandmother in Vung Tau.

It is amazing how much easier things have become with this extra set of hands.  From feeding to dishes, to sterlizing bottles.  It's not that we couldn't do everything before, but now we are enjoying it more because we can forget about the chores, and now we can concentrate on enjoying our kids.

Well I suppose it also opens up some more time for WORK!!!! Here you see Virginia on Skype to school.  She had a conference call with 3 new teachers that will be working in the new Learning Resource center.  It's brand new, and Virginia was one of the main people behind the proposal.  So the timing of maternity may not be ideal (though when is it ever) from the schools perspective.  So she spent an hour on video conference discussing her ideas for the opening of the center.

Scabies Part 3

2008-07-30T01:22:00.002+07:00

Just like the Sharon Lois and Bram song, "The cat came back" only it's not a cat, it's scabies.  Without a doubt there were new blisters on both our kids.  On Monday Virginia had to see a doctor and we were able to get some more medication to treat them.  Only this time, we decided we'd better treat ourselves just in case.  We absolutely did not want to have to go through this process a fourth time.

We tore all the sheets off the beds to wash along with all of the kids clothes and ours as well.  We setup the 3rd swinging crib for one of the kids to use, and we used a small foam pad that I had brought from Jakarta for Tri.  We slept on the couches for two nights to give our mattress a rest just in case.  It was a lot of washing and a lot of hassle.  We didn't use either stroller for two days, but we were able to wash the snuggly carriers (I don't know what you call them) and it was probably about time we'd done that anyway.

The photo above is a shot of the four of us after all the washing was done (and the carriers are still a little moist - but we needed to get out of the apartment). Tomorrow another set of hands in the form of our new temporary nanny will arrive. We're curious to see how that will work out. We're hoping that it is going to be a big help.

The photo at left of Cai shows her putting her fist to her mouth. She loves to form fists with both hands and she seems to try to place them in her mouth. Unfortunately she still does not seem interested in grasping things. I'm wondering if it's because in the hospital her hands were always covered in mittens. I can get her to hold small rings, but she doesn't seem to be aware that she is holding them. The two kids seem quite different in that way. Cai seems to make more efforts with her mouth (seems like she's more intellectual), and Tri is very exploratory. He can't explore his surroundings enough - the last two days, while having baths in the kitchen sink, he has tried to grasp the water coming out of the faucet. I don't think he understands why he can't grab the stream of water :)

Of course, I always need to remember that Cai is almost 2 months younger, and those two months at this stage are extremely significant.

Meeting with TDH

2008-07-27T21:02:00.007+07:00

Well we are now setup in our new apartment.  The move went smoothly, and we were in fact online within an hour of arriving to our apartment, but we've been busy getting setup, and the kids routine was a little out of whack causing less sleep for everyone.

Yesterday we met with the entire TDH crew.  TDH (Terre Des Hommes) is our adoption agency in Canada.  They have been here in Vietnam for a week, meeting with the ministry responsible for adoptions and the various orphanages.  They need to renew the agreements each year with each orphanage and arrange for the charitable projects that they will work on each year.

We went to their hotel to have lunch and to let them meet Tri and Cai.  The first photo is of Tri and me sitting at the table waiting for them to arrive.

The second photo is of Tri with Dorinda (the woman that runs TDH in Ontario/Quebec).  He is about to cool down in the pool.

The plan was just to spend an hour to an hour and a half and have lunch.  However, it turned into 3 or 4 hours.  I ended up showing her how to edit video as she just bought a video camera to be able to film orphans to then show to prospective adoptive parents.  We also got a glimpse into the burreacracy of adoption and some of the charity projects they are involved in.  We are hoping that we might be able to follow up on this and perhaps bring a group of students from our school in Jakarta for a week to help out with this.  It was also so nice to have a group of people so interested in helping with the kids.  As Virginia said it was a glimpse of what it would be like to have family and friends around.  The contingent from Ontario was Dorinda, her husband, Brandon, their 13 year old daughter, Rosie (also adopted from Vietnam) and Thuy and Loan from here in Vietnam. Here Rosie is holding Cai in the restaurant.

 
When we finished up at the hotel we had to rush back to our apartment to meet with our landlord.  We needed to actually sign our lease, and she wanted to check to see if there was anything else we needed.  She and her family are really great people.  They are very accommodating and really want to help us out.  She arrived with her sister, niece and mother, as she wanted them to meet our kids.  The last photo is of Tri with the mother (he was getting tired and hungry and was a little fussy).

She offered to send over one of her maids or a cook to help us out.  I don't know what Virginia was thinking but she declined!!

Anyway, they really are nice people.

I've got some video footage of Cai and Tri that I need to download.  You'll see that Cai is becoming much more animated.  Though she still will not grasp things in her hands.  Tri is taking off and has started back on pablum and today for the first time, a jar of baby food (which he loved).

The kids are unfortunately still not really on the same schedule and as a result there is not much down time for us.  Though what a treat, yesterday we went to bed at 8:30 and today we even took a short nap!

Moving Day!

2008-07-24T11:42:00.002+07:00

Well who knew that we could accumulate so much junk in such a short time span.  I guess those daily trips to the store to purchase a few food items and invariably something small and cute for one or both of our children, piled up!  

We've packed two bags with things that we've decided we can do without for me to bring back to Jakarta next week.  My ticket is a business class ticket using points, so I get extra baggage allowance but I'm already 10 pounds over.

I don't know how we're going to get the rest of the stuff back when Virginia and I make the final trip back to Jakarta.  Pictured are most of our things, but it doesn't show the two swinging baby cribs or a few other odds and ends.

I'm hoping this will put an end to the "but it's so cute and it's only xxx dollars" when we go to the store.  I honestly don't think we're capable of entering a store without picking up something new.

I think our pocket book will be much healthier once we both get back to work and don't have the time to go shopping.

We're moving today, and theoretically we'll have high speed internet at our new apartment, but we don't know, so this may be the last blog post for a while.....that may be a good thing, as it may mean less time on the computer and more time sleeping.

Staying Longer in Vietnam

2008-07-22T19:36:00.002+07:00

I think John John has already mentioned this before, but it looks like we will be staying in Vietnam for another month. This is no one's fault and it is necessary, but boy, do I wish it wasn't true. Sadly, John will be leaving me to go back to school for a while; I am not so excited about this, as you can imagine. Two infants are a HANDFUL (cute, lovely, but a handful) and being in a strange country with no friends and no possibility of ever understanding the language can be draining.

Tonight emphasized this point and I had to laugh - one by one, our children threw up on us and EVERYTHING ELSE. It was almost as if they planned it, the little monkeys. So, while we are still deleriously happy to have our little angels, we are getting pretty tired and feeling a little drained. It will be so nice to go home, to our stuff, get into our routine and surround ourselves with friends.

We do, however, now have a new apartment to stay in: that is a load off. It is a new place, near the apartment we are in. We like this because we know the area and there are nice streets to walk on. The landlords are wonderful!! They are letting us stay (without a lease) for as long as we need to. They are so sympathetic to our situation that they are supplying the sheets, pots and pans, plates, etc. This will make it easier.

And so, John leaves on August 1st.

Send your good vibes this way: I am going to need them.

When it gets tough, I will try to remember to laugh!!

Virginia

Happy Belated Birthday, Mommy

2008-07-21T22:58:00.004+07:00

Mommy,
I love you so much.
Thank-you for taking me out of the hospital.
I was really scared in there.
I love it when you feed me.
Will you teach me to sing? I'd really like that.
I'm sorry that I wasn't the first to wish you happy birthday. I didn't even know it was your birthday till I saw Tri on the computer.
Then I had to learn how to type (I didn't want messy hand writing like Tri's).

I'm sorry that Tri didn't stay quiet on your birthday. Sometimes he can be a real cry baby!
But what do you expect, he's a boy!
I love you, and sorry that you have to stay here all summer for me. But I'm really glad that you are, because I'm really having a fun time with you.

Love, Cai Marie Holmes

Happy Birthday, Mommy!

2008-07-20T00:09:00.005+07:00

Holmes' Homeless in Ho Chi Minh!!!

2008-07-19T21:20:00.001+07:00

Well, it's less than a week away, and Wendy and Jim, who so graciously lent us their apartment will be returning. Although they offered to let us stay before they left, we wouldn't wish our family presence of four on anyone. So we've been desperately searching for a new place to call home.

We got word from our agency that the giving and receiving ceremony probably won' take place till Aug 14 or thereabouts. Then we still need to arrange for the kids passports (and possibly Canadian citizenship) before leaving the country.

We've considered the possibility of a hotel, but we really think we need more space, a washing machine, and some self catering facilities would be pretty nice as well. The residence that Virginia stayed in before I arrived, The Summerset Serviced Apartements are great, however, the price tag of $170 /night plus tax is a little unweildy.

Other serviced apartments seem to be commanding a similar price tag.

Vung Tau is an option as the serviced apartments there are only $75 /night + tax and they will give us a monthly rate of $1500 /month. However, it is in Vung Tau, and we think that we'd prefer to stay here in Ho Chi Minh.

This park in the middle of Ho Chi Minh has it's appeals.

Here, Virginia is scouting a street corner with Tri. He thought it was a good option, but Cai would here nothing of it and even refused to pose for the photo.

Finding a regular apartment is challenging. Most want a minimum of 6 month rental. We found one place (a sublet for two months) that we thought would be ideal. But then the landlord wasn't too keen on having two children in the place.

The good news is we have a lead on an apartment that is close to where we are now. I suggested to Virginia that perhaps if I could close it tomorrow, that would be an ideal 40th birthday present. She however, seems to think that we're getting a place to live no matter what, so it's not really birthday material......

I'm off to bed!

Freaky Friday

2008-07-19T03:59:00.006+07:00

Just like in the movie, "Freaky Friday", we think that somehow Cai's and Tri's personalities were switched today! Cai has turned into a charming little girl with smiles and giggles, and Tri has become very unpleasant. It was remarkable to see Cai so pleasant, and we think it is because of a number of reasons. First I think her health is getting better, but I think more importantly, she is becoming used to us as her primary caregivers.
Cai was left at the orphanage at about one month of age (first caregiver), then she was in the orphanage for a month and a half (2nd caregiver), and then she was in the hospital for over a month (third caregiver), and now she is home with us. I think she's had a more traumatic start to life than Tri, so it is very nice to see her beginning to settle down.
We think we know why Tri has been so fussy today....his inoculations. While at the paediatrician, not only did they take blood from both Cai and Tri to check their zinc levels, they also gave Tri his 2nd inoculation (for Hep B I think). I took video footage as they took blood from Tri anticipating some very large yells (Virginia told me screamed like the dickens last time), but as you can see in the video he was a real trooper. A little whimper and then he's fine. In fact, you can hear Cai crying in my arms louder than Tri (though this may have been in anticipation of what was to come for her).

This next clip shows a little of what Cai went through. The nurses didn't know where to find a vein. She was still bruised up in all locations from the hospital. They popped a needle into her left hand, and left it in for a while, moving it around, but no blood was coming out (you can see the blue band aid on her left hand). So in this video clip, although there is no longer a needle in her hand, she is still screaming from the pain, as they search for another vein. I asked about putting a needle in her head as they had done in the hospital (and the reason for her previous mohawk), and they explained that here in Vietnam they find it easier to put it in the head, but that at this clinic the doctors didn't like it. They said that it was more likely to result in infection and that the veins stuck out more from the head, and were also more likely to bleed after the needle was done. This may be true, but given the number of missed needles into Cai's arm (it took them three tries), I have to wonder if it wouldn't have been better to go for the head again.

P.S. I forgot to add that the Dr remarked how Virginia looked pretty good for having a little baby, but that she looked GREAT for having two babies!

What are they thinking?

2008-07-17T21:31:00.004+07:00

Some of you will know that in Jakarta we can purchase DVDs at a "discounted" rate. This is because they are pirated. The same is true here in Vietnam. We have recently purchased the complete box set (seasons 1-7) of The Gilmore Girls. We enjoy watching an episode of this whenever we can. Today, we put Cai and Tri down on the mat to play with each other as we popped in the season 1 disc. I kept looking down and was amazed at how the two of them were just staring at each other. This went on for over 10 minutes. I remarked to Virginia how amazing it was to watch the two stare each other down and I asked her what she thought was going through their heads. I decided to grab the camera to quickly get a shot of them staring each other down. Of course about 15 seconds after filming them, they suddenly became interested in me, so this is only a short clip. However what is pretty funny is the soundtrack from the Gilmore Girls which was playing on the television at the time. You can hear it if you turn up the volume.

Cai Wins the Battle!

2008-07-16T21:30:00.001+07:00

Well when we brought Cai home from the hospital, she was being fed every 2 hours.  When we read the instructions on the can of formula, it was suggesting every 4 hours.  So we decided to switch her feedings to every 3 hours and slowly work our way up to 4 hours.  Her screams of hunger were difficult to deal with, but we were certain that this would be best for her....until today.

We had an appointment with a paediatrician and learned that because of the month in hospital, her stomach was probably simply not large enough to sustain feedings every 4 hours, and that we should stick with the 2 hour feedings and slowly lengthen it to 3 hours.

So now Cai's screams of hunger will be answered with a bottle!

As a result, from time to time, multi-tasking is required. Here you can see Virginia as she feeds Cai while reading a story to Tri. Thankfully with two of us here all the time, this sort of multi-tasking is not a necessity, though it does occaisionally make for nice photo ops!

Which Crib to Choose?

2008-07-15T21:24:00.002+07:00

Well the Ma&Be store (Mother and Baby) had quite a selection of these swinging cribs. How should one choose which one? Price, colour, size, safety, sturdiness, weight? Well, when Tri spotted the name of this one (in red in the photo at right), he decided that this was the one we should buy, and so we did! It's actually the same brand as the one that we currently have. In making the purchase, the enclosed instructions list their website (www.longhung.com) and it turns out the main office is right here in the same suburb of Saigon that we are living. So we may well be able to go purchase the spare part required to fix the first one that is broken.Our friend, Nat, suggested we just keep using the broken crib and swing it by hand.......ha ha ha ha!!!! No, we treasure our sleep. Cai has been asleep now for over four hours! A RECORD! So we're pretty happy with the purchase. When she gets old enough to roll over, then we'll look at unplugging the electric motor, but till then, swing on!

Our two kids are enjoying interacting with each other. I suspect that this blog will end up having several photos of the two of them together. Here is a shot just before we took them down to the pool to play and tire them out before their afternoon nap. It looks like Tri is holding on to his sister and giving her the lay of the land!

To Swing or Not to Swing - There is NO QUESTION!

2008-07-14T21:14:00.003+07:00

Last month we wrote about the swinging crib that Tri loved. We were debating whether we should get a 2nd one or not. Natalie and Francois mentioned that with the design as is, that Tri might have some difficulty rolling back on his back if he rolled onto his stomach. Sure enough about 2 days after they wrote this, this is exactly what happened....and the electric motor subsequently broke!!!

So we stopped using the crib, and have had Tri in a little foam bed that is made for babies. He seems happy enough, and still sleeps soundly through the night, only getting up once in the night for a night feed.

Well now that we've got Cai, and she's been very fussy, we decided the rocking crib was a must. So I took apart the motor today and discovered that the belt is broken. This is much like the fan belt in a car. It's probably a 25 cent part but where we'd be able to buy one, I've no idea. We could try to just use a rubber band but we probably need something a little larger. At any rate, we've decided that $70 for a new rocking crib will be well worth it, especially if it helps us get more sleep.......I mean let's Cai sleep better! :)

The first day that we had Cai, we couldn't let her interact with Tri till we had treated her for scabies. The next day, we had them playing together on the couch, and here is a photo of that interaction.

TWO CHILDREN - A HAIR RAISING EXPERIENCE!

2008-07-13T20:15:00.003+07:00

Okay, okay....Virginia here.....no, I did not shave my head! Having a computer guru for husband really comes in handy! A little photoshop and presto - I am bald! Sorry, Cai...mommy loves you...but she just couldn't do it!

Things are going well, here. We are finding our way and learning how to now be a family of four. The differences between Tri and Cai are amazing; they are such different children. It is still very early days with Cai and she is beginning to be a little more animated, but she is much quieter and docile than her ham-bone brother. She is starting to smile though and I am sure that, as she relaxes and feels safe and secure, this will continue. Right now she sleeps, eats and cries. She loves to be held, however, and we pick her up, she stops. That is a good sign. She just needs a lot of love! And she came to the right place!

My mom says it used to take me an hour to drink one ounce; I think Cai is my pay-back. She is a SLOW eater! This can be really nice during the day as you can sit and sing and chat with her and get some really nice bonding time. The hour-plus-per-bottle isn't so nice at night. She eats every 2 hours and it takes an hour to drink! Thank God there are two of us; we are a great team though and I am so grateful for John.

Having said all that, Cai is an angel. She is such a blessing and, when she smiles, she melts your heart. I held the two of them at once today (see picture). It was amazing: two incredibly special and wonderful children at once. And they are ours. I was a little overwhelmed and I got choked up; it was a beautiful moment.

We were talking to friends today and they asked what we do every day.

I just laughed.

DO? We had visions of traveling Vietnam, getting to know our children and their country. Boy were we wrong! We spend our days at home. We sing a lot, dance with the kids, play on the floor, read books, change diapers, clean bottles and do laundry. And that is it! We go out for a walk at dusk; it is cooler then and very pleasant. It has become my favourite time of the day. Other then that, we can manage one adventure per day. Sadly, that often means a trek to the grocery store - how exotic - and travel seems a distant idea thought up by someone else. I have to say, we really don't mind. The best adventure is just staying home with our kids! I am sure that as Cai finds her rhythm, this will change. Right now, as she continues to heal, she needs to sleep a lot. And so we are lying low.

We are really looking forward to getting home to Jakarta. I really hope this happens soon; I have been away for a long time now and I miss our beach house, our friends and familiar territory. This has been wonderful, but it just isn't home. We hope to find out this week when our signing and receiving ceremony will be; keep your fingers crossed that we will be going home soon!

A BALD family is a HAPPY family

2008-07-11T21:35:00.004+07:00

Well, our little girl is home and happy. And so are we! We are settling into life as a busy family of four - twice the bottles and twice the diapers! Yikes! To celebrate, we gave Cai a haircut. No more silly mohawk! She agrees; it is better to start over and let her, eventually, have a beautiful head of hair. But now she is bald! To help her feel less self-conscious, the WHOLE FAMILY decided to shave! A family that is bald together, stays together....or something like that.

We will write more later, but boy are we tired!

Suffice it to say, life is doubly blessed!

Virginia, John, Tri and Cai xo

Cai's New Room

2008-07-11T07:02:00.003+07:00

There is a world of difference between Cai's new room and the two rooms she has been in the past. What a difference 26 fewer roommates make! The room itself has only two large beds for the babies. Then there are two reclining deck chairs that you might have around a pool. Perhaps these are meant for the nanny to sleep, though I can tell you if I were the one in there, I'd be joining Cai on the nice comfy bed! The first thing I noticed upon walking into the room was the blast of AC! Oh yes, this is 5 star comfort! There is also a 3/4 size fridge and television in the room. The great news is that she gets stronger and stronger each day. If the nanny is right about her schedule, that will put her in our permanent custody on Friday!

I will post a separate post about our visit to Vung Tau and the orphanage. Suffice it to say, there are a lot of damn cute babies and kids that are looking for parents. I had to pry one newborn away from Virginia's arms, explaining that we already had two and that, at least for now, that was enough. Before heading to the orphanage, we stopped into a restaurant for lunch. It was quite a hot day, and we were greatful for the cold wash clothes they gave us upon our arrival. So was Tri as we placed them on his head to cool him down! Below is the photo.

Shopping for ........ the orphanage?

2008-07-09T03:52:00.003+07:00

Today we hatched a plan to go visit the orphanage in Vung Tau to see where our kids spent the first few months of their lives. We thought that since, hopefully, Cai will be getting out of the hospital shortly, that making a trip to Vung Tau with only one child would be a good introduction to traveling with kids. So today, the plan was to do some shopping for items that we could donate to the orphanage....clothers, diapers, formula, toys. I thought that we should just head to the "Walmart" beside the hospital, but Virginia was convinced that Binh Tanh market would be a better option. Somehow, that shopping trip for the orphanage left us with 2 new North Face Backpacks, a blouse for Virginia, a dress for Virginia and a wall hanging on hold for us.......what happened to the orphanage? So on the way home, we dropped Virginia off at our local store and I took Tri home for his bath and bedtime. So yes, we did get some great things for the orphanage, but not at Binh Tanh market! Pictured below is Tri. He's enjoying his milk while Virginia is scoping out some food at the stall. We went with the fresh spring rolls (my favourite food thus far in Vietnam).

The great news for Cai is that she is now in a semi private room with only one other baby. Hopefully this will reduce the risk of secondary (or tertiary?) infection. We'll stop in quickly tomorrow before heading down to Vung Tau. We've hired a car to drive us there (about 2 hours south). It willl drop us off, and then we'll take a ferry/hydro foil back the next day.

Excuse me, is this bed taken?

2008-07-07T21:33:00.005+07:00

A few days back, Cai's nanny tried to communicate to me about a room change. As I said before she said she would be moved yesterday. At the time, she motioned to the bed and held up three fingers. I thought that this meant that she would be moved to a room with three beds, though I said to Virginia that maybe she meant three kids to a bed. Well, it turns out that little voice in my head was indeed correct. When I arrived today, she was indeed in a new room with about 6 or 7 beds in the room. Each bed was occupied by two babies. The photo below is what greeted me....Cai asleep beside another little baby in the arms of her mother or nanny.
The great news is that she really is getting stronger each day. I had thought they had removed her pick line, but I was mistaken. It is still in her foot, but I didn't notice it yesterday as it was hidden by her sock.
I had requested to the doctor on Saturday that when she was able to be moved to another room, that she be moved to a private room and that we would cover the cost. But the nanny didn't know this and so it didn't end up happening today. Loan, our representative here in Saigon spoke with her on the phone so she is arranging for her to be moved tomorrow. I should say one of the reasons I am impressed with the care at the hospital is because health care is free for all of these children. It is as a result of this that the crowded conditions prevail. Our concern at the moment is that she may catch another bug from one of the many babies/adults in the room, and thus our strong desire to get her into a private room as quickly as possible.
Last Saturday, we went in to see a pediatrician for Tri's rash. It turns out he still had scabies. So last night, we treated him again and spent the last 24 hours boiling clothes and bedsheets. We hope that will spell the end of the scabies for Tri, so that we can begin anew with Cai as soon as she gets home.

6 More Days Turns to 5

2008-07-06T20:03:00.008+07:00

Yesterday, while visiting Cai, we were told by the nanny that it would be only 6 more days, which would put us at 5 more today. Of course we were also told that she would be moved to a different room today, so when I arrived today, I was fully expecting an adventure as I would have to somehow find this new room.Unfortunately, I had no such adventure as she was still in the same room. I looked for doctors but unfortunately I could not find any, so I was unable to ask why or get any further updates.One thing I want to clarify, it may from time to time seem as though I'm not happy with the care that Cai is receiving. This is not the case. I would be quite happy if we could get the same care but in a different location. Today I could not find a doctor, however, in the past I have seen some babies in great distress, and out of nowhere, about 6 doctors were surrounding the baby. The mother was forced to leave the room as she bawled outside. But the baby survived. I've seen several hour old babies brought in to Cai's room, and they've all gotten better.Last post I mentioned the two rats that ran by as I was on the phone. Perhaps the reason it was only 2 rats is because of the cats which are also present in the hallways. The one pictured was up on the 2nd floor.Today Cai slept in my arms for about two hours, so I had plenty of time to think. It occurred to me that although she has been very sick, and we're not the ones in control, we're actually very lucky. It is rare that it is possible to adopt two children at once. If we were residents of Canada, it would not have been possible at all. Since we are resident in Indonesia, Vietnam was able to consider the request for two children simultaneously. I think the fact that we live in Asia may well have helped. But also, the fact that Cai has been so sick, means that they recognized that she needed personal care immediately. Many studies have shown that love and attention are just as important as drugs in a young babies health. Since we were already in Vietnam, and we had been pre-approved for adopting two children I think that tipped the scale in our favour.Interestingly enough, Canada has been getting a bit of a bad rap here in Vietnam for not accepting some children that are less than perfectly healthy. Some parents are requesting 2nd physicals or 2nd opinions be offered. This creates extra work for the orphanage and may be having a negative effect for Canadian couples. Given that we had already excepted Tri (who had previously been rejected by 4 other couples for medical reasons), this also may have contributed to our being offered Cai to adopt.

Whatever the reasons, we certainly feel very blessed. It has also been amazing to see the change in our children's health since we've come in contact with them. It is not uncommon for children to die because of pneumonia while in the adoption process. We are eternally greatfull for the decision to give Cai to us. It may well have saved her life.The great thing about the fact that Cai is off oxygen, means that we can get her out of her room. I prefer to go out to the balcony. It has a nice cool breeze which I think is refreshing for her, and most certainly for me. It also gives her something new to look at, and oddly enough it is much quieter out there, as most people stay inside the hospital rooms. I figure it is also healthier out there, with less possibility of other children's germs getting her sick again. In this photo you can see the courtyard 3 floors below. The circle in the center is a fountain. As I said I had two hours with her in my arms, so not only did I have lots of time to think, I had plenty of time to take self portraits :)

Who Knew a 3 Month Old Girl Could Make a Grown Man Cry?

2008-07-04T22:26:00.016+07:00

This morning I went down to the hospital in the morning before visiting hours so that I would have a chance to speak with the chief doctor. When I arrived he was not around, but the nanny motioned to her watch to the number 2 or 3. So I called Virginia to let her know that I would have to wait till ten after or quarter after to get the chance to speak with him.

Before I had left home, I called FV hospital to confirm that we could admit her. The nurse took down the details and said that a doctor would call me back.

While waiting for the doctor, on the advice of my sister Anne, I had brought a bottle nipple to tap on Cai's back. This was meant to help tap the phlegm free and hopefully allow Cai to cough it up out of her lungs. The theory being that the reason she needs to be on oxygen is because there is too much liquid/phlegm in the lungs to allow the oxygen to enter into her blood.

So I had Cai on her side with her head slightly lowered to allow gravity to help pull out anything that became dislodged. Well this was quite a spectacle. In hindsight I should have charged admission to all of the onlookers. They thought I was some crazy person! The good news is that almost immediately there was some phlegm that she spit out. I continued this for about 10 minutes, and then held her in my arms.

Anne also told me that the way they teach babies to swim is to blow in their face before dunking them. This causes the baby to take a deep breath. So after I had been pounding the back of her chest, I started to blow in her face, causing her to take deep breaths, and then subsequently cough up the phlegm. The coughing was making her cry! So I felt like the world's worst Dad, and the strange looks from the crowd that was spectating didn't help at all either. However, I had to keep doing it, because she needed to clear her lungs. It was very difficult to do!

Forty five minutes after when the nanny had told me the doctor would be around, I went looking for him. I was told that he was not available but that if I came back in the afternoon, I could speak with him then. Clearly when the nanny pointed to the 2 or 3, she meant 2 or 3 O'clock, not 10 after the hour!

So I went back home to pick up Virginia. In the taxi on the way home, I got a call from FV Hospital. When the doctor listened to Cai's case history and the fact that she was still on oxygen, he said that she should be put in the ICU but that there was no space for her. He told me he would call me in a few days, when a space might be opened up.

So this left us without any options that we knew off for Cai's treatment. This was a real disappointing blow. However, Virginia and I still went back into town in the afternoon. Yesterday I discovered a fantastic little store just around the corner from the hospital. I call it the Vietnamese Walmart, though in reality it's nothing like it. However it does have everything under one roof and so when I described it to Virginia, she was pretty excited to go visit.

I dropped Virginia off and helped her get Tri up to the 2nd floor where all the clothing was located, and then ran off to the hospital to make sure I got a chance to speak to the doctor. While there didn't seem much hope, I did want to ask about the change in her medication. Yesterday she was on an oral anti biotic, but today, she was back on an IV.

As I proceeded to the third floor, at the top of the stairs, this is what I saw:

I couldn't believe my eyes. Cai was out of the room, and no longer hooked up to oxygen!!!! I quickly grabbed my camera, and took a photo and asked the nanny to grab a photo of me as well.

At this point, I thought it best to call Loan to let her know as I wasn't sure how the transfer would take place. So I called her to let her know the exciting news, and then I gave the phone to the nanny so that she could tell Loan all that she knew. As I held Cai in my arms, and knowing that she was now going to be ours to take home, my eyes welled up and I started to cry. I don't know if it was the lack of sleep, or fatherly love, but I was so incredibly happy at that moment!

When I got Loan back on the phone, she said that the nanny would take me immediately to the doctor to speak with him because he wanted to talk to me. The nurse than told me to wait about 20 minutes......no problem. I carried Cai the whole time.

When I finally got to speak to the doctor I inquired about taking Cai out of the hospital. He explained that because she was now on IV antibiotic that she would need to stay in the hospital. I asked if he thought that she would be better off in the FV Hospital (thinking that since she's now off oxygen she won't need to be in the ICU). He said yes she would. Great! So how do we go about transferring her? Well, since I have no authority in the matter (I am not yet her guardian), the request must come from the orphanage. He explained that this hospital is responsible for all the kids in central and south Vietnam. As such, they can't "pass off" their patients to other hospitals. Therefore he can not make a recommendation for transfer. Nor can he recommend that she be released because she is not healthy enough. Okay, so I get Loan back on the phone. Since we were speaking in French I wanted to make sure I hadn't missed anything.

I figured now that Cai was off oxygen, that the orphanage would be able to make the request. I had a few more questions for the doctor so I told Loan I would call her back to arrange the transfer. I asked the doctor if, while we were waiting for the papers from the orphanage, Cai could be transferred to a private room, and that we would pay for the bill. He explained that in fact, though she was off oxygen now, she still needs it from time to time. So she needs to stay in the room with the other 5 patients because this is where the oxygen is. This was of course a disappointment, but maybe it will just be for tonight.......

I called back Loan after the doctor had left and she told me she had already spoken to Tri in Hanoi (TDH's main representative in Vietnam), and that Tri would be calling me in a few minutes.

I had told Virginia I would meet her at 3, and it was now 3:15, so I had to go. I made it down the stairs to the main floor when Tri called me on the phone. She explained that because they had already made the request twice to the orphanage, to allow Cai to be transferred, that they wouldn't ask again.

So after such incredibly high hopes, we were back to square one. Except that, Cai is clearly healthier than she has been for 28 days (first time in 28 days she has been off oxygen). Plus of the six babies in her room, she is the only original one remaining - meaning babies are getting better at this hospital all the time. I think the care at the hospital is great, it really is just a question of germs. Ironically as I was repeating this very thing to Tri (while standing in the hallway of the hospital on the main floor), two rats ran by me within about 3 meters.

So the end of the day was disappointing but the good news, is that Cai is on the road to recovery!

Tomorrow I plan to inquire about the change in antibiotic (I got too caught up in events today), and perhaps find out if it can be administered orally....hoping that would mean the hospital would be willing to release her.

Our little Tri is doing well. Virgina and I were commenting today in the taxi how big he is getting. Here is a photo of him in the taxi in the Vietnamese car seat (his mom)!

Merci Tous Mes Professeurs Francais!

2008-07-03T21:02:00.006+07:00

.....Thank you to all my French teachers. It's been a while but at one point, the government of Canada declared me officially bilingual. That declaration would no longer be made today, I can assure you. However, given that Vietnam used to be a colony of France, the French language is a preferred second language to English for many Vietnamese. This was true for the doctor I spoke with today. Today, none of the doctors spoke English, but one of them asked if I spoke French.

So I had a lovely conversation for about 20 minutes with French (and uncontrollably, some Indonesian thrown in). I got the full medical history of Cai, and she was quite knowledgeable. She agreed that the FV Hospital would be a more sterile environment however, she could not speak about the quality of doctors there. In fact, she asked me if I had already confirmed that the hospital would take her! I was astonished by the question, but it turns out the quality of the neonatal ward at this new FV Hospital is not that great. It turns out that if the babies are too sick they actually send the babies to the hospital that Cai is in!!!!!

However, I do think that Cai is getting better, and as a result, I'm pretty sure that the best care will be the more sterile environment. Unfortunately the chief doctor was not there (he had already gone home when I got there), and the doctor I spoke with yesterday wasn't there either. So the doctor I spoke with today suggested I come in tomorrow before visiting hours when I can be sure to speak to the chief doctor. He is the one that will need to make the call.

I enclose a photo of Virginia walking Tri just in front of our apartment building. Saigon South International School is, as you can see, directly across the street. For those of you who have visited Jakarta or seen some of my photos, you will notice the marked contrast. Here we have sidewalks, wide streets with very little traffic, and all of the shops and restaurants that we would want within minutes, or some cases seconds, from our apartment.

Virginia's reaction to Cai's adoption proposal

2008-07-02T18:52:00.007+07:00

Well I finally got the firewire required to download video, and since Cai is high on our minds, I thought I'd show you the video of when Virginia discovered that we were being offered Cai for adoption.
I awoke at 0100 on June 24 to give Tri is feeding. For some reason I couldn't sleep and so hopped on the computer to check email. There was a message from Helene, at TDH Ontario. It said
"I have just gotten off the phone with Dorinda (she is on holiday’s as I mentioned); we are very happy to let you know that we are proposing a girl to you from Vung Tau II."
I was pretty excited and would have liked to have awoken Virginia right away, but she was in need of her sleep. She had been looking after Tri all by herself for some time, and I was still relatively fresh. I decided that I'd like to capture her reaction on film. Knowing that she would do the early morning feeding and possibly check her email, I loosened the telephone cord from the ADSL modem so that the internet wouldn't work.
Sure enough when I awoke, she told me the internet wasn't working. So I did my magic (I teach computers don't you know) and plugged the telephone cord back in. The following is her reaction (note - Virginia would like to say that I share this video against her wishes. It is not her best fashion moment) :

The funny thing is, it wasn't till later that she realized that I had already known. I would have thought that given that I had the camera on her, she would have clued in, but clearly her head space was somewhere else! :)
In other news, I got some more information today from one of the Dr's at the hospital. I found out that she has been on two antibiotics for 25 days. One of them (Vanco or Vancocylin) is described as a "drug of last resort". So that doesn't sound too good. Yesterday or today, they have stopped her on these two drugs, and placed her on another antibiotic that she now takes orally.

The head Dr was not available today. When I suggested to the Dr that perhaps she would be less susceptible to infection if we could get her into a private room either at this hospital or FV Hospital (the preferred option), he said we would have to speak to the chief Dr.

My plan is to speak with him tomorrow and I am hoping that by asking the following questions we can get her over to the FV hospital:
1. Do you think if we could get Cai into a private room, she would be less susceptible to infection? (answer is obviously yes).
2. Do you have a private room available her? (the answer is no...they do, but not one that has oxygen available and she is still on oxygen).
3. Do you think then that perhaps she would be better off if we were to move her to FV Hospital? (the answer should obviously be yes)
4. Do you think you could speak to the director of the orphanage and tell her that this is what you recommend?

At this point, it really is about the sterile environment. That and the fact that if she was in FV Hospital, the nanny could go home and one of us could stay at the hospital and look after her. The hospital is a 20 minute walk from where we are staying. If he agrees with the above I plan to ask him if our paediatrician can come over so that he is familiar with her records. For example I don't even know if it is safe to move her since she is on oxygen.
Oh yes, I also asked if it was possible to get oxygen at home, but they said it had to be administered by a Dr 24 hours a day.

Will write tomorrow on the results of our efforts. In the mean time, here is a short clip of Cai in hospital.

Oops!

2008-07-01T21:18:00.003+07:00

This is the title suggested to me by Virginia. I didn't mean to leave people hanging on the last post. I totally meant to update it after the conversation. I can't remember exactly what happened, though I think Virginia quickly updated me on the news which wasn't much. Essentially we had to wait for the doctors assessment today. Virginia was in with Cai today when they removed the Oxygen. They brought in a meter to measure % oxygen in the blood. Virginia watched the monitor as the % decreased from 95% to 90% to 85% to 80%. At that point as Cai turned blue (just joking), they decided that she needed to stay on Oxygen.......sad news! So where does that leave her? Still in the hospital. Tomorrow we will be meeting Loan at the hospital. I don't know what to expect. It is possible that she will be there to arrange movement of Cai to the closer, more sterile hospital, but that may just be wishful thinking.

Back to why we didn't update the blog after the conversation. The staff at Paris cafe just adore Tri. They all wanted to hold him. They passed him around and they were all taking photos of him with their cell phones. So Virginia got a photo of the staff holding Tri. I wanted to title this entry "One of us has turned into the mother we used to laugh about" but she preferred the title I have used. Because Virginia was very nervous as they passed him around. She was incredibly anxious!

Happy Birthday Tri

2008-06-30T17:15:00.003+07:00

Yesterday was Tri's 5th birthday (in months that is)! How did we celebrate? Well we took him to Paris.....Paris Cafe for dinner. He didn't each much (he's a cheap date), but we relaxed in comfy chairs with a sumptuous meal. This cafe is just on the main floor next to our building. It's a nice place to go for a coffee, or a "pain o chocolate" while I upload images (since they have free wifi).

Loan, our agent here in Vietnam, called today to say she would try again to talk to the orphanage about getting Cai into our care. We've not heard back. But the nanny said that she would be off Oxygen tomorrow, so we are keeping our fingers crossed that we will be able to bring her home tomorrow.

Update 25 minutes later. Virginia is on the phone to Loan right now and I'm awaiting the news....

Vanilla Frappe anyone?

2008-06-29T16:47:00.003+07:00

As a new age Dad, I thought getting Tri used to some of the finer things in life was important. Waking up in the middle of the night, listening to him scream for his bottle, I would, in my sleepy daze, try to make his bottle as quickly as possible. In order to dissolve the formula, it's necessary to shake the bottle. When in a hurry, I'd shake that thing up so fast in every direction, that the result was somewhat of a milk vanilla frappe, with about half the bottle a thick froth sitting at the top. Well, three feedings in a row, he would down the bottle and then about 4 minutes later, up the whole bottle would come! Virginia was sure I was doing something wrong, while I was sure he had some sort of a bug!
Well, you will not be surprised to learn that Virginia was correct! Apparently our little Tri is a more down to earth kind of guy! He has no need for those expensive sorts of drinks, and instead he's happy to stick with a plain old bottle!
No news on Cai, other than that Virginia thinks that she is looking stronger!

To Swing or Not to Swing - That is the Question!

2008-06-28T20:00:00.003+07:00

Many of you have been asking for video. Unfortunately, I forgot the firewire cable to download the video from our DV camera. We don't use the regular camera for taking much video because the quality is not as good as our DV camera. Today I went to about 8 different stores before I found one that sold the necessary cable. Unfortunately it doesn't work, so I'll have to try again later.
In the mean time, here is a video and a question. It shows Tri in a swinging crib. We think the crib is awesome, and you can buy one for as little as $60, we're thinking of getting the next model up at $80 complete with mosquito net which would be beneficial to prevent dengue and malaria in Indonesia. However, I can't find any for sale online in North America, and it makes me question whether they may be unsafe. Any thoughts would be appreciated. You can leave them here by hitting the word "comments" below this post, or email us your thoughts, or let us know when we speak to you on the phone.

In other news, Cai didn't seem any better today. I could feel the fluid in her longs vibrate as she breathed. Once again, the Doctor (a different one this time) didn't give any predictions on length of stay, saying instead that it depended on her.
Today, Tri's paediatrician indicated that we probably wouldn't catch Scabies by visiting and holding her, so we're hoping that the scabies laundry routine is finished, and perhaps Virginia's psychosomatic symptoms will subside :)

A Full Day at the Hospital

2008-06-27T20:02:00.008+07:00

Since Virginia had a chance to spend time with Cai yesterday and I had father-son bonding time, today was my turn to head to the hospital. I had mixed emotions about going. I certainly thought that since she was our little girl that we should go and spend as much time as possible with her. But at the same time, she isn't yet our little girl, and we can't give her the care we want to.
We've been busy getting Tri rid of scabies, and we don't want to contract it ourselves and then give them back to Tri. So I wasn't sure how long I would stay with Cai today.
However all of that changed within the first half hour of being with her. I've held many babies in my life and thought they were cute enough; but I certainly wasn't that fussed about them. I've never been the type of person to say "oh, let me hold the baby". I've always been willing to help out, but it's never been a strong desire of mine.
Below is a photo of Cai. You can see the oxygen in her nostrils, the pic line (for the IV) in her hand, and a little green and purple fan that I brought today to keep her cool. Beside the fan is little "Purple", Virginia's special little lamb (a gift from our nephew Christopher).
Well within that first half hour, Cai entered my heart and is now most definitely my little girl. In April, our good friends Eric and Kathy and their two kids Josh (2 years) and Natasha (5 months) came to visit us from Australia. We spent a little over a week at our beach house, and it was funny how over the course of that week that their little girl grew on me. Well it only took a few minutes for Cai to grow on me and is now indelibly stamped in my heart.
I was impressed at how responsive she was. She makes good eye contact and was able to follow objects with her eyes. She seems to be a good size (it's hard to believe she is two months younger than Tri) but she clearly does have pneumonia. I had the opportunity to speak with the Doctor today. She speaks English quite well. She explained that as soon as Cai is able to get taken off oxygen, then she can be discharged from the hospital (and I assume we can take her home). When prompted for how many days that would be, she wouldn't say. Let's hope it is soon!

Below is a shot of Tri in the bathtub. Every night he is coated in a cream that is supposed to kill the scabies and then in the morning, Tri needs to be bathed to remove the cream. We have been moving him from one blanket to another and one carriage to another as we try to clean everything he touches to remove the scabies.

Below is a shot from when we had already moved from one carriage to another, and so we used the "Baby Bjorn" to carry him. The good news is that tonight was his last treatment!

Disappointed Daddy and Mommy

2008-06-26T20:03:00.009+07:00

Well, we had hoped to bring Cai home with us tomorrow. Unfortunately, we are not allowed. As you can imagine, we are very disappointed. The deal is this: we are not yet the parents and as such the orphanage makes all medical decisions for our little girl.

And they have decided to keep her in the Children's Hospital for another 5-7 days.
That will seem like forever.

And we have no choice but to respect their decision. The people who work for our adoption agency have done all they can for us and for Cai and we are really greatful for that, but the orphanage gets the last word, so she stays put- for now.

So, I (Virginia) went to see her today. We can visit between the hours of 11am and 4pm.
Cai has been moved from the ICU to a "regular" room. Let me try and paint a picture for you. As I walked through the maze of hallways, strewn with people sleeping on mats, children being fed or changed, and filled with laundry being dried on makeshift lines, I finally found the third floor of the wing where Cai is staying. She is sharing a room with four other children and their parents/caregivers.

It is NOT a large room. There is no air conditioning and rooms are connected, kind of like a pod-classroom you would have seen in the 70s. So it is not quiet! There is a window that looks onto the courtyard; Cai's crib is near the window. Sadly, it does not let in relief from the heat, so Cai's nanny (a woman hired by the orphanage) fans her with wild abandon.

Her nanny is a lovely lady; I just wish I could understand her! I wish I could understand anyone there. No one speaks English, so my visit was limited to cooing over our poor, sad little girl.

The conditions are far from hygenic and although the nursing staff clearly tries very hard, there are just too many patients and too little space. As you will see in one of the pictures, the nannies/mommies/caregivers stay 24/7. They sleep on the floor underneath the babies' beds (notice the two people under the crib and Cai is in top corner).

Cai is, as you can see, not looking her party-ready-best. While her Mohawk might be considered fashionable on some New York City streets, it is not so cool on a baby. As I said before, we will be shaving that soon! Then she and Tri (and I am told John is going to join them - mommy won't) will all grow hair together.

She is still on oxygen and she has a feeding tube. I THINK I understood that she will be losing the equipment tomorrow. I hope so.

She is responsive - sort of. But the most shocking thing is that there isn't much life in her eyes. Boy are we going to work hard to change that. As I remember, Tri was a little bit like that and now he is quite the little charmer. While Cai seems to be even more distant, I am sure a lot of love will help her along.

Her breathing and coughing still smacks of pnuemonia and I think she is still on antibiotics. I sure hope not as she would have been on them for over 2 weeks, now.

And so, we wait.
It will be a long, long 5-7 days. We really hope that will be shortened.
Until then, we will continue to visit: one of us will stay with Tri and one will go in to see Cai each day. That is the best we can do right now.

Please send your positive energy our little girl's way; she can use all the good vibes she can get.
Virginia

Mixed News

2008-06-25T20:30:00.009+07:00

Well today has been another adventure. We arrived to the hospital to meet with Loan, the TDH represntative in Saigon. We immediately proceeded to go find our little girl, Cai (said like "guy" with a K [John says rhymes with Pie....clearly we have different brains!]). This was easier said then done. I'm not sure that the Children's Hospital #1 in Ho Chi Minh City has heard of an electronic registry. At right is a photo of Loan, the adoption agency's representative, trying to find our little girl - all the names are posted on the white board. Now THAT is technology!

We finally found her in the ICU. Unfortunately, they said no photos were allowed.....or perhaps this was fortunate. She was rather sickly looking. Half her head is shaved, she has an IV in her arm, and is on oxygen. Our poor little girl. We will be shaving the rest of her head so she can ditch the silly mohawk; she and Tri can grow their hair back together. Their first brother/sister activity!

We had to take turns going in to see her as Tri was not allowed in the hospital. And when I say hospital, don't go getting an image of sparkling clean hallways and sanitary rooms. Not quite. (the next two pictures show you the hallway of where Cai is to be moved). So it is better that Tri had to take turns waiting outside with mommy and then with daddy. He was happy as can be - slept most of the time we were in seeing Cai.

Cai will be staying in the hospital until Friday at which point we have arranged to have her given to our care. We are taking her to our pediatrican (who we really like). He will then make a recommendation as to whether or not she'll stay with us at home or go into the fancy hospital (the same one Tri was in). If she can, she'll stay with us and we will take care of her. Dr. Jonathan feels this is likely the best place for her (as long as it makes sense medically) so she can get lots of love.

And we are getting pretty good at giving medication!

Speaking of which, Tri has a rash all over. Mostly a heat rash, as it turns out, but he also has scabies. So, we are in treatment!! Cai has scabies too, so this will be a pretty diligent household for the next little while. We spent the evening boiling clothing and sheets!!

How romantic!

As for Cai, we hope to take pictures of her tomorrow; she is being moved from ICU as she is now stable. One of us is going to stay with Tri and the other will go to be with Cai for a while.

And then, we hope, she'll come home on Friday!!

Keep your fingers crossed!

Our new little girl

2008-06-25T10:34:00.001+07:00

We're off to the hospital to meet our girl. We'll have photos to post in a few hours. Who knows, we may even be able to take her home today.

New Arrival - Again!

2008-06-24T21:18:00.008+07:00

Well from the previous post, you may have gathered that we've had a 2nd proposal for a child. Our little girl comes from the same orphanage. From the photos you will notice that they were taken on the same day with the same background (May 21) as Tri's original photos. She is currently in Saigon at the children's hospital with pneumonia. We will be there tomorrow morning at 10:00am to meet her. Of course, Tri is a little blasé about the whole affair, as he's been friends with her for months. In fact, my niece Maeve noticed in one of Tri's original photos that he was lying next to a clearly Asian baby, as the top of a head with jet black hair was visible to the side of one of his photos. I think that the hair in question belonged to our little girl.

Double the Pleasure?

2008-06-24T18:18:00.003+07:00

I awoke this morning at 0100 to give Tri his feeding. He wasn't eating, so I opted to put him on the floor to nap for a bit hoping that he would awake with an appetite. While waiting, I opened my email and read something that made me see double! I will write more on the next post, and I will include Virginia's reaction.

Attempted Abduction - Alas, Aborted!

2008-06-23T15:27:00.005+07:00

After Virginia's medical appointment, we headed to Paris Cafe for lunch. While there, as usual, many people took an interest in Tri. This little girl wanted to take Tri home to be her baby brother. We explained that she would have to get her own. However, we offered her the chance to come home with us to be Tri's older sister. She considered this for a while, and then ran away from the crazy, scary people!

BIRTHDAY HELP???

2008-06-22T20:38:00.002+07:00

Wow, this being a mom thing is wonderful. Already, my son is helping out his daddy!!
You heard it folks, Tri wants you to help his daddy with birthday ideas, so GET ON IT, FOLKS!!
:)

Seriously, we'd love to have your comments on our blog, so feel free to say hello!
It helps us feel like we aren't so far from home.

And we do miss you all!
xo Virginia

Sleep or no sleep?

2008-06-22T15:18:00.008+07:00

We've been told that with a young baby, we should catch sleep while we can. Last night would be an indicator as to why this is. Tri was up from about 3 am onwards. Of course one of Tri's parents was not aware of this, as he was sleeping while the other parent was busily attending to Tri.
Below is a video of sample of what Tri was like all night. Above is a photo of John and Tri from a few days ago. John is taking the "sleep whenever possible" advice.
Tri has a rash and we are hoping that it is not measles. We're gonna go see a doctor tomorrow morning.
In other news, Mommy is trying to take some of that sleep advice. She's down for the afternoon, and so Tri and Daddy are having a little male bonding time. Tri has been asking about Mommy's birthday. I've told her that we normally don't make a big deal about birthday's, and that Mommy doesn't normally like a fuss, but he seems to think that since this will be the first birthday that he'll be attending he'd like to make it something special. If anyone has any idea's Tri would like to hear them.

Running around today!

2008-06-21T16:27:00.005+07:00

After a quick jaunt to the hospital to pick up our medicals, we returned (30 min walk) via the Co-op, a local grocery store.

We now had the medicals we needed to finalize Tri's adoption, but we still needed to print out one more letter about our temporary residency in Jakarta. You'd think this would be a simple task, but not when you don't speak the language. I thought for sure that someone could point us to a small shop that we could print out the letter.

Unfortunately we were consistently told that we would need to go downtown to do this. Instead, I opted to hop on a bicycle and go exploring, sure that I could find someplace to print. Sure enough, within a few minutes....I had sniffed out the internet/gaming cafe. In I went, leaving the bicycle out on the sidewalk unlocked. A woman asked if I wanted to lock it up, and I waved her off, saying it was no big deal.

After about five minutes of deciphering the Korean language on the computer (a Korean kid had last logged in), I was able to get the documents printed. I paid my bill, and went outside to my bike......

Can you guess what had happened???

Probably not. My bike was there, but it was locked up to some other bike and there was no one around!

I figured this was some scheme to charge for bike parking and so I asked around. Eventually I found out that the owner of the cafe had locked it up trying to be helpful. No problem, where is the owner? Oh, he's gone to the market to buy food for the day. I was a little annoyed, but quickly spotted a tavern with cold beer. I was about to go wait it out, when someone came running from the cafe with the key.....crisis averted (though not my thirst!)

Itchy!

2008-06-21T16:23:00.003+07:00

Tri and mommy are itchy. We have a rash.

No big deal, but it isn't fair that daddy missed out on it!

We are going to the doctor tomorrow to see what it is!

Scratch....scratch....scratch.

Off to Hospital

2008-06-21T07:48:00.004+07:00

A quick wakeup this morning, and we're off to the hospital. We need to get there to get our medical. It's the last piece of paper work holding up our adoption. We will write more later today.

You may have heard Mommy's concern about lack of poop yesterday. Well this morning, we awoke to a grumpy little man, but within half

an hour that all changed as he had a nice big bowel movement.....fascinating stuff....I bet you can't wait to read more!

Our First Day out in Saigon

2008-06-20T18:46:00.008+07:00

Well we finally made it out into Ho Chi Minh City. Since the maid was due to come to the apartment today, we decided to get out and about. This was accomplished by walking out the front door of the apartment, taking a right, walking one block and waiting for a shuttle bus into District 1, which is Old Saigon.

The bus takes 5 minutes longer than a taxi and is 1/10 the cost, so one of us was all over this, and the other just wanted to take a taxi.

It was effortless, and we now both agree that this is the best way to get into downtown Saigon.

5 m from being dropped off, we saw a little Art Shop. In we walked, and found several paintings that we are absolutely in love with. The first one was 240. In Vietnam, the currency is the Dong, and about 16 000 = 1 USD. Many times one will say it is 100 meaning it is 100 000 Dong or about USD 6. When we saw these prices, we quickly assembled about 8 paintings. We decided we'd have some for Jakarta, and some for Kingston. When we went to pay, we discovered the prices were in USD, not Dong!!!!! So we are still artless, though we are thinking about getting the original piece that brought us into the shop.

While out and about, we ran into a friend that I used to teach with in Venezuela. Kevin Mulqueen, was there on the sidewalk in front of us. Virginia spotted him first. After Venezuela he moved to Vietnam and taught here for several years. Two years ago, he took a year off and visited us in Indonesia. We had just bought the land, and were waiting on building permits. Here is a photo of us on our land toasting with friends. (I'll have to insert later).

Here is a photo of us on the street.

Upon returning to our apartment, we tried giving Tri a quick feed of pablum. Here is the video. It didn't work too well, and we resorted to the bottle after a few scoops.

Welcome to our new site!

2007-03-13T19:14:00.000+07:00

Hello friends and family!
It is about time we got around to doing this; with most of you so far away, it is hard to keep in touch. This is a great way to show you what we are up to.

So stay tuned!

And for those of you who think that JOHN is behind this...think again.
Blondie has a little tech in her too!

See you in the blog!!!
Love John and Virginia